Thursday, May 21, 2009

The Big Match - Live!

We join Elton Welsby in the Big Match studio, who gives us this report:

"With only one round of fixtures remaining, the top of the Guardian/RR Unidond League Table sponsored by Tena Lady could not be tighter.

After a mammoth season of disinterested tinkering, we enter the final weekend with nowt but a blanket covering the top three who stand, at present, as follows:

1. Snadfrod's Dinamo Splodge, on 4173 points,
2. Sane City FC doing Shane proud on 4123 points,
3. Darcey County keeping their title hopes alive on 4104.

Just behind the big three, gordonimmel's Carinthinans are hoping for a miracle on 3951 and Offer Fox Ache FC complete the Europa League spots with 3831.

Clearly, this title race may well go to the wire and the eventual winner will FULLY DESERVE his as yet unspecified prize.

Down at the bottom the relegation issue is a little clearer with Tin's RR Reserves a brave 2000 points away from the safety of 14th. An awesome effort by a team who play some nice stuff but, ultimately, haven't played that often. Plus they had Nery Castillo who was utter, utter bobbins.

It's going to be huge. Back to you, Ray."

So there you have it. It all comes down to this. Trash talk, anyone?


snadfrod said...

Oh and before anyone starts wittering on about 200 point head starts and the like, I'm going to say that the league table doesn't lie, no matter what Rafa may say.

PLUS I have spent the whole season with at least three City players in my side whenever possible, even going so far as to optimistically sign Valeri Bojinov at one point. And yes, one of them has always been Richard Dunne. AND I haven't signed a single Red so could be argued to have been masochistic to the point of idiocy...

snadfrod said...

Does anyone think I may be protesting a bit too much?...

DarceysDad said...

[Pulls piece of A4 from pocket]

"Let's talk about some facts ...
Dinamo Splodge is a good team, a vig club, and I congratulate them."

Seriously, mind, I was going to proudly state that the whole UniDond Big Four had come out on top without a single Red Manc, but then Shane snapped under the strain and signed Vidic.

I may deplore his tactics, but it worked! I believe the extra points will keep me from second spot.

But has anyone looked at my final selection for this weekend? In a MASSIVE tactical volte-face, I've decided Carinthians can't catch us, so I'm throwing caution to the wind ... goal-fest or bust!

Yes, I gave you a 200+pt headstart, by not getting my team entered until Week 3, but who's fault is that?

I'll claim a small moral victory over Snadfrod, but congratulate him on a large real victory over me. I also doff my cap to Shane for rotating his squad better in the run-in than I did.

But, erm, Gordon ...?


tincanman said...

Let me just say in my defence that I now understand the rules of this glorious game as you call it and will be ready for next year's innings.

DarceysDad said...

"Vig" ???

Has Butch made so much from his Nevermind royalties that he's buying football clubs now??

You know what I meant.

Abahachi said...

Meanwhile, mid-table, Townsend United is still clinging to a slender lead over Buckyboys '08 FC, having swapped places at least ten times over the course of the season...

Abahachi said...

All this, and the almost as nail-biting finish to the Bundesliga and 2.Bundesliga...

Exodus said...

I must admit that I lost interest sometime around new year. Till then I'd made transfers, swapped players, tried different formations and was still trundling along in 13th. Having done nothing since January I've just checked & seen that FC Kochanski have risen to the mid-table security of 10th. I think if I do nothing for the whole of next season I could be vying for promotion.

DarceysDad said...

@ Exodus - I think there's a lesson in there for every interfering chairman (or woman) in the Championship, eh, Shane?!


gordonimmel said...

Any chance of a play-off competition between the top four?

And I do think that Dinamo Splodge's head start should be taken in to account. OK so you may have the most points at the end, Snadfrod, but you're not the best team (ooh! Which Spaniard does that remind me of?).

@exodus, I swore off Fantasy Football a couple of years ago because, yes, the more I tinkered the worst it got. I only joined this league this year 'cos it was you lot. Next year I just know I'll spend hours poring over the statistics to come up with the perfect team only to find myself vying with tincanman for the relegation spot.

saneshane said...

song above finishes with the very sarcastic Delia!

So we all have to make it to a social that has Table Football..
Uni-DOND europa league.

AND I too went for the Big scoring everybody up front final day of the season.. to claw into those 50 points.
DsD we could both lose out to Gordon!

as for Man U.. over here in the east we have no moral right or wrong in picking the Morons that play for them (except Ronaldo who is so up his own rectum.. even this pacifist would punch) no offense to BBeats team obviously.. much. Anyway, the last time (EVER) our useless lot got in the prem, we beat them..
Roll on Sunday.. just to see if we can make snadfrod panic a little bit!

snadfrod said...

Shane, I suppose if it had to be one United player going in there, then Vidic is the most obvious and understandable one. Still, didn't we do well?

So yeah, Table football for the playoff is it? Fine by me. Just as long as I get a head start...

Oh and as for being nervous on Sunday, I am going to be at the world's most end of season game ever, City Bolton at Eastlands, so if we can find something to rouse some kind of emotion I'd be delighted!

P.S. Its my defenders what won it. If i could leave out a striker altogether this weekend then I would. Bus parked and lead held etc etc.

ToffeeBoy said...

@ Exodus - I was exactly the same - I don't think I've ever managed to keep one of these going for a whole season. My mistake this year was entering three different, similar competitions - the fantasy football equivalent of fighting a war on three fronts.

I hadn't even checked the Unidond table for a couple of months until a minute ago. As long as only two go down, I think I'm safe.

Anyway, who needs fantasy football when you've got the 30th May to look forward to...

Come On You Blues!!!!!

gordonimmel said...

@snadfrod, We were planning a big family day out to the City-Bolton game until we realised that it clashed with our annual break at 'gordonimmel's summer retreat' (check the map).
I was then thinking of doing a ridiculous 8 hour round trip to watch the game myself.
Then we went and lost at Spurs last week and I thought 'meh! I'd rather sit on my arse and listen out for the other scores'
Still, there's always next season, eh?

saneshane said...

I was on a roll, I'd given up looking ahead.. just wanted to get in front of DsD and then last month one Sunday I noticed I was 17 point behind.. it had been nearer the mid hundreds - but then I realized snadfrods team all had Sunday matches!

So to play catch up, I brought cheap players in April and that was going to leave me with a vast amount to play with for the final May matches.

As I knew out of the top 4 I was the only one that had no issues with picking United players (and they had two games in hand - more points for me please) it was going to be easy.
Injuries and rotation pissed on that firework before I even payed for the players.. so Vidic, has done a fine job.. will he play Sunday? wouldn't have thought so.. means I have to play an extra striker instead .. hello Crouch hello 2nd spot for DsD.

snadfrod said...

@gordon - I have a similar feeling, having committed to going pre- spurs. But it should be fun, I tell myself. Maybe moreso than I expect (though not as much fun as Boro a couple of years ago when Fowler missed the pen. for Europe and James ended up up front...).

@Shane - so that's how you did so well. Planning, strategy and good management. I'm waiting on Robinho's injury before I make my final selection, otherwise Titus may be making one last heroic contribution for the season.

ToffeeBoy said...

@ Shane said:

"As I knew out of the top 4 I was the only one that had no issues with picking United players (and they had two games in hand - more points for me please) it was going to be easy."

You see, that kind of thinking's why you're where you are and why FC1878 are languishing in the lower reaches. If you were in a Batman episode, the floor would be at a crazy angle right now ...