Tuesday, July 7, 2009

EOTWQ- Summer Special No. 1




Start of summer special.. the questions are written in Czech on the two A4 pages shown in the photo... what, you can't read them? OK, here's a precis..

1.Hot, humid evenings, too much alcohol, overheated flats... nerves tend to get frayed when the mercury is rising. I like to think I'm pretty tolerant online, but face to face I've been known to roll my eyes if someone ever chews with their mouth open.. which (other) inexcusable breaches of etiquette get your goat?

2.Favourite ice-cream flavour? Optional extra- are you a cone or a pottle person?

3.We'll possibly be heading to the beach at some stage, where I'll lie around in the sun and wonder what it's like being able to swim properly, rather than just take a few unconvincing strokes before stopping to gasp for air... I think this dates back to school swimming lessons in early autumn, in an unheated, uncovered pool in the deep south ... what basic life skill do you lack, and why?

4.Summer fashion.. Open toed shoes, sandals, flip flops... do you wear socks or not? (Be very careful with this one- your continued presence on the Guardian website could depend on it)

5.Summers in NZ, at least on the west coast, aren't complete without sandflies, which appear in swarms and leave very itchy bites.. everyone has their „secret“ insect repellent, whether it's Vitamin B in industrial quantities, running around the whole time, or smearing yourself in a mixture of garlic paste and petrol.. what's your failsafe insect repellant, or do you simply take a more holistic view and try to ignore the little buggers? In which case, I suggest you don't visit Milford Sound between October and April..

149 comments:

TonNL said...

1. men in shorts & sleeveless shirts (mostly with added tattoos) shopping in the city, go to the beach (or preferrably stay in your own garden!) dressed like that.....

2. Pistache, but I'm currently experimenting with my new ice-making machine, trying all kinds of stuff, latest not too bad one: vanilla/grappa/basil-icecream....

3. Running....
150 km on my racing-bike, no problem, 1 km swimming, no problem, a whole day of mountain walking, no problem, but after 50 meters of running I am tired and bored to death, can't imagine that people find it any fun to run for 42,195 km (the metric marathon distance)

4. No open-toed shoes, sandals or flip flops in my house, Allen Edmonds to work, Quick, Adidas, North Face, Salomon, Meindl in my free time, and always with (Falke) socks.....

5. Mosquito net above my bed @ home, going on holiday to a place with little or no biting insects (high up in the Swiss mountains)

Abahachi said...

The end of the week gets ever earlier...

1. Using a knife to shovel food onto the WRONG SIDE OF THE FORK.

2. Fruit sorbets rather than ice cream for me, especially lemon; in Italy I must have eaten at least thirty different versions of lemon sorbet, and they all taste different. Definitely cones - what's a pottle when it's at home?

3. Smalltalk; natural aversion. As far as swimming is concerned, my view is that it's necessary to save oneself from drowning but no fun at all, so I do an utterly inelegant but very effective backstroke when necessary.

4. Absolutely no socks. Yes, they keep the sand out from between your toes, but I steer clear of beaches anyway.

5. Stand next to Mrs Abahachi, who clearly tastes much nicer than I do.

nilpferd said...

Sorry for stretching the meaning of "end".. only my week sort of ends on Tuesday, not sure if I'll be able to get online again before Friday..
Pottle is an antipodean expression for a plastic or paper bowl. I can see I've mucked this up totally.

*bawls into hanky*

May1366 said...

1. Very similar to TonNL in that I shudder at the sight of bare-chested men with shorts, especially short shorts. I'd be uneasy with it in Rio. In flipping Liverpool, it's an obscenity. But what I really hate, in any season, is when people in cars honk their horns in roads where several other people live - instead of parking, getting out, walking five feet and ringing the doorbell of the person for whom they're calling.

2. Lemon sorbet's a good shout, as is pistaccio, and I once had both plus mint in a cone from a Roman gelateria which threatened to ruin me for ice-cream for life - how do you go back to Wall's after that?. However, I've partaken of a margarita ice-cream (after the cocktail, not the pizza) which takes the wafer. Cones would be my weapon of choice. Pottle - isn't that one of the Flumps?

3. Climbing. Up trees, up those ropes they have in gyms; I made it up a small rock-face on some school activities trip when I was about 10 but I was pretty crap the whole way up. I can clamber up an incline, but anything vertical and I'm useless. Obviously, not having evolved in adulthood into a loris, I'm not sure this is an especially basic life skill but there it is.

4. Sandals - not open-toed because you can't drive or play footie with the kids in those - and no socks.

5. Never a major problem in these parts and it's the bare-chested pieheads who offer the most appetising smorgasbord. But if I'm in a more bitey climate, I tend to start off well-smeared but gradually become more perfunctory with applying protection, and tend to acclimatise.

Ah, just noticed the definition of 'pottle' - thanks for that unexpected linguistic lesson, nilp. Can I ask if there's a particular antipodean term for 'bottle'?

nilpferd said...

Depends what's in it, May.. I'm going back a couple of decades here, things may have changed- but little fat beer bottles were called stubbies; the long necks were dubbed Steingrenades in a nod to NZ's most heavily marketed lager beer and a rather dodgy attempt at humour. You could also take 1-2L plastic flagons (basically empty cola bottles, although we did occasionally use proper glass flagons) to drinks markets, and get them filled up with tap beer. An Aussie, ex anarcho-punk flatmate I once had used to talk about a slab of tinnies and a sixpack of J & D; or 24 cans of beer with a whisky chaser.

Definitely with you on the bare chesties and the honkers, and I'm enjoying the imagined sight of TonNL hiking through NZ rainforest wearing a mosquito net.

If we ever make a 'Spill Golem, he won't be able to swim, climb, run or indulge in smalltalk.. but he will be able to put on a record and lift a glass of wine to his lips..

Abahachi said...

And what about the wattle? Hold on, that's Australians...

May1366 said...

I thoughts it was maybe a case of the pottle calling the bottle wattle.

DarceysDad said...

1. People in cars chucking their fag-ends out of the window. I'll warn everyone right now ... if anyone ever does it from a stationary car within my reach, they get it back through their window with as much other crap as I can pick up. Sooner or later, someone's going to get out and smack me one, but THAT'S HOW CROSS IT MAKES ME!

2. As an ex-Mr.Whippee, I will betray my former profession by saying I'll take anything that hasn't had its volume trebled with air. Favourites are normally berry fruit sorbets or minty ice creams, because my all-time favourite is no longer available: Ben & Jerry's From Russia With Buzz - essentially a chilled caffeine overdose.

3. Christ, where do I start? I can't fish, can't climb, can't grow fruit/veg, can't fix things (recent one-off vacuum cleaner definitely an exception), and according to DarceysMam, I absolutely cannot correctly separate my loads for the washing machine!! Why? Wish I knew.

4. Almost never wear anything "lighter" than skinny trainers (Adidas Gazelles, usually). Cotton espadrilles or swim shoes are obviously worn without socks, as are my only pair of sandals (anyone remember seeing my wedding photo in an early 'Spill thread? Them.) Otherwise, I have a drawer full of under-ankle trainer socks, in various colours to try to match the footwear. Hate comedy/patterned socks with a passion.

5. I use whatever we want the girls to wear, and I have to put it on first to prove that it isn't poison.

Chris said...

Living in North-West England, summer is more of a theoretical concept than a period in time. Even the hot weather we had recently has faded quickly into memory under a familiar grey sky. However...
1. Having lived with other peoples' kids, I've learnt to tolerate many lapses in eating etiquette, and inapproriate dress is fairly common around here if temperatures reach above 20 deg. It's probably something to do with mobile phone use that infuriates me. Many people seem to think having one allows them to use it whenever and wherever they want - even to interrupt a conversation you are having with them.
2. It should, of course, be Cherry Garcia but I'm not that keen on cherries. A good quality vanilla or multi-scoop of Ben & Jerrys' non-chocolate varieties, probably.
3. I'm also a complete failure at small-talk. It's a skill I know is extremely useful but I can't quite attach enough importance to it to remove my internal filters. Many people seem to simply say what they're thinking, constantly. Why do they think anyone else is interested?
4. See my disclaimer. If it's hot enough, open sandals without socks.
5. See my disclaimer, again. If in a situation where the bugs are biting, I'll use whatever chemicals that work.

As question 3 referred to school swimming lessons, I have a question for BaBe. Was your generation forced to swim naked at MGS, as mine was? Never quite sure whose benefit that was for: the pubescent males or the PE staff.... It obviously never did me any harm. At all. No sirree. What are you looking at?!

nilpferd said...

Ha, I bought Mara a whippee with all the trimmings in NZ when we were there recently, in a wave of nostalgia.. she ate the flake, the chocolate glazing, the hundreds and thousands, then took one lick of the ice cream and said "bleah".

Reader, my lower lip trembled..

tincanman said...

1 Inexcusable breaches of etiquette?
All!!!!!! Why people are so selfish, I do not know. When we all behave co-operatively, life is so much less stressful for all of us.

2.Favourite ice-cream flavour?
Mango.

3. What basic life skill do you lack, and why?
Knowing when NOT to make a joke. Why? Not sure. The Dr says it's cause I played with my poo when my mum was preggers with my youngest brother.

4.Summer fashion..
I have a pair of open-toed slip on sandals that I bought in the Florida Everglades made from real genuine Florida alligatror skin a few years ago. They are great shoes - wash easy, comfy as heck, etc. I love them even though when I got back to the motel in Florida I flipped them over and found they were made in Australia, not the Everglades.
Clothes-wise, loose open neck t-shirts, 3/4 Umbro pants.

5 secret insect repellent
Stay indoors and read RR

treefrogdemon said...

The end of the week can't come too soon for me...I've been on holiday for a fortnight, which was just long enough to forget about the stress of having to [insert your least favourite work-based activity here] all day.

1 Over-use of sexual swearwords. Save 'em for when something REALLY bad happens, OK?

2 I like the sound of margarita flavour. There used to be one called Raspberry Cheese Louise, which sounds awful but was yummy. Had one in the States which was white chocolate, raspberries and praline...yes, I'd settle for that. In a cone, please.

3 I'm with Abahachi on swimming: I can do it, but would rather not. I would like the skill to keep my house clean and tidy all the time, instead of waiting till it gets messy and filthy and I have to spend hours putting it right.

4 Never socks in summer. It's one of the treats of summer, for me; and one of the awful things about the weather getting colder is having to start wearing 'em again.

5 The midges aren't as bad here as they are further north, but I still find I need that magic Avon stuff, Skin-So-Soft, from time to time.Like last week at the outdoor Comedy of Errors. Luckily you can buy it online now so you don't have to wait for the Avon person to call. (Which s/he would certainly not do at my house.)

DarceysDad said...

@ nilpferd re Mara - That's my girl! Er, well, your girl, obviously, but, um ... oh, you know what I mean! Good lass!!

@ Chris - I really had to tip my hat to B&J when the first batch of Cherry Garcia came out after Jerry's death. Changing the outer band of the tub top to black was simple, dignified, and inspired.

DaddyPig said...

1) Strong feelings about this as a public transport commuter. Crowding round train doors before people have got off - STAND BACK PEOPLE ! And people playing music I don't like loudly, leaking from headphones and without headphones. Unless they're playing Bob Marley, I do ask people to turn it down nicely, and even fierce-looking young people have done. So far.

2) I chose ginger at the Longley Farm ice-cream parlour in Holmfirth recently; pistachio was a close second. I would've had both, but one has to factor in the "tidying up" and drip-management on the children's cones. Definitely cones.

3) Not good with large crowds, especially when I'm tiring. I once missed Gil-Scott Heron at a left-wing protest / festival thing in London, as I was getting overwhelmed and had to go.

4)Flexible. In the recent hot weather, I've worn sandals sometimes with and sometimes without socks. My concession is to not wear dark socks with white / pink skin; but I fear I still look silly, make a bad role-model for my children, and bring shame upon the family.

5) I usually avoid places where there's a risk of being eaten alive. I was badly bitten by horseflies on the Camargue (Rhône delta) once. I don't have the French vocabulary to distinguish between insect repellent, and cream to treat the bites. So I asked for "Quelquechose contre des insects - on m'a dejà mangé". It worked, but mostly because it was obvious when I pointed to where my ankles had nearly been severed by the little blighters.

nilpferd said...

Sympathize, DP- nothing worse than a horsefly bite on your Rhone delta.

BalearicBeat said...

1. Kids on the bus listening to rubbish music on mobile phones. I'd rather they set up a full-scale soundsystem and blasted it out to the entire bus than have to endure the tinny high-pitched vocals and tss..tss..tss of hi-hat through a phone two seats behind me.
2.Triple-choc with extra choc and chocolate chips, please. In a posh cone. With a flake.
3.I can't cook rice. I'm a pretty decent cook in most other respects, but no matter which method I use and no matter how many times I rinse it, unless it's that easy-cook stuff, I always end up with rice pudding.
4. Never, ever wear sandals. Or shorts, if I can help it. Socks would be an absolute no-no if I did though. You may as well put a hanky-hat on too and have done with it.
5. Fortunately the pesky little blighters don't seem to take much of an interest in me.

@Chris
God, no!!! Was this for everyone, or just if you forgot your trunks? I can think of at least one PE teacher who would've made us do it, given half a chance, but I'm relieved to say you only had to endure the indignity of finding some out of the lost-property box in my day. Phew!!!

Abahachi said...

All this talk of ice cream reminds me that I haven't made any chocolate and chilli ice cream yet this year.

DarceysDad said...

Put me down for a litre of THAT, please, Abahachi!

saneshane said...

1. Time keeping.. now I don't need anyone to be perfect. just thoughtful. You've got kids, you work on gathering them up time - no worries.
On your own 9 o'clock meeting.. you phone me 10 minutes before to say you'll be late.. you will pay, you are not more important than me, making me waste my time on you. Didn't happen before mobiles I tell you!!. Organize and stick to it.
GRUMPFFF.

2.I'm a quality ice-cream freak.. so couldn't narrow it down to a single flavour.. but it must be served in a good dish or tasty waffle cones. Paper or paper thin tasteless cones just taint it for me.

3. I have no social skills and find people scary until I get to know them.. (or I drink all nilpferds stubbies and don't care any more)

4. I burn if I stand too near a spotlight.. the less of my flesh showing the better.
I do own other footwear other than my fat collection of converse skate trainers.. but they hardly ever get worn.

5. In the olden days at festies a smog of herbal smoke worked wonders.. but most people stand next to me, if anyones gonna get bit.. it'll be me.

snadfrod said...

Afternoon, I'm about to do a lot of agreeing...

1. I am very much with BaBe re. music on mobile phones.WHY? IT SOUNDS SHIT. Also mobile phones as instant conversation enders. 'Oh, sorry, I just have to get this...'

I would also add that I get almost unneccesarily wound up by people parking in disabled/parent and child spaces when they are/have neither. I mean what sort of a prick do you have to be? THERE'S A SPACE OVER THERE! Actually, supermarket carparking in all its forms grates right on my tits.

2. Phish food. Hands down. Although the basil sorbet I had last week at the Italian round the corner was very special too. As for cones, I always want one, but then can't finish it. It all gets a bit much, doesn't it?

3. I'm not great at small talk, as mentioned above. And I also have to hold my hand up as a not-very-good swimmer, too. I mean I can swim but just get so tired and so bored after one or two lengths that I just give up and go back to splashing. I think it may be something to do with the fact that I don't float, I sink. I have no idea why, but my legs just always drop...

4. I have one pair of sandals which will never go with a sock. Other than that it is trainers with those sneaky little socks that don't go above the ankle. Shorts, just to the knee, and then loose shirts in things like pink, yellow and green. Sports/leisurewear is to be reserved solely for sports, and never leisure.

5. I refer again to the esteemed abahachi above - I just go anywhere near Mrs Frod and she will take every bite going. Like a trooper.

P.S. As a tangent, related to previous EOTWQ, has anyone else come across www.sporcle.com? Timewasting for the educated bluffer. I've got to 193 out of 195 on 'countries of the world' and intend to shift the monkey as soon as possible.

P.P.S. Elbow! And the Halle! Tomorrow! ME!!! (Sorry. I'm getting very excited now...)

Chris said...

BaBe: no, everyone had to swim in the nude. But only after depositing their towels, walking round the pool to the toilets and then walking a bit further round and waiting at the poolside for instruction. Forgetting one's kit was obviously no excuse. I'm sure it all started out as some kind of character-building idea but I suspect it built more neurosis than character. In truth, I seem to remember it was the Doc you had to be careful of, rather than the PE teachers: they were more interested in skiving off for a fag - er, ciggie - somewhere.

DaddyPig said...

nilpferd - Thanks for sympathy. I was so occupied with my pretentiousness about writing French with accents, that I neglected to check for inadvertent double-entendres (pronounced in French of course darling).

ejaydee said...

1. Scraping one's fork with one's teeth.

2. Sorbet is my choice for the summer, but nilpferd asked for ice cream, and I never mix the 2. Currently it's Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Macadamia, but in general vanilla is the base to all my mixes, but that doesn't count, so I'll go for Panna (Cream), Straciatella or Hazelnut.

3. Donds for small talk, I'm also a pretty bad swimmer, among many many other things.

4. I don't wear flip flops in cities, but when I do it's no socks definitely, I actually frown upon sandals and socks (sorry).

5. Basic lemongrass-based repellent does the job for me, but I don't mind the bites so much as the buzzing. Why can't they do their dirty deeds near my feet where I can't hear them, why fly back to my ears?! Little bastards.

snadfrod said...

Just to check - with small talk being such an issue round these parts, what the heck is the RR social going to be like?

ejaydee said...

2a. Definitely in a pot for me, I find that the cone ruins the cold unctuousness of ice cream.

Snadfrod, I always need a drink and an extra hour to warm up, but we can always have proper discussions about music.

Shoey said...

1. Tin's scatalogical activities
2. White chocolate raspberry gellato
3. Lacking the ability to suffer fools gladly.
4. Socks with open-toed footware should be banned unless the feet are particularly nasty.
5. A big cigar.

snadfrod said...

EJ - so the evening goes like this, then:

0-60 mins - all at separate tables, pint of mild.

61 mins - someone ventures an opinion on an obscure Fall b-side.

62-70 mins - FIGHT!

70 mins onward - FRIENDS!

I'll start:
So... what about this weather then?

gordonimmel said...

1. Agree with alot already mentioned - rubbish coming out of car windows, people beeping instead of getting out and ringing the bell, mobiles ending conversations.
In terms of eating habits one thing that really grates is people who 'bite' their spoon when they eat off it. Yeurgh! That goes straight through me.

2. Not much of an ice cream fan, infact I don't have much ofa sweet tooth at all. But if forced to choose it would be something like mint with chocolate chips.

3. Can't ski. Won't ski. Admittedly that's not something you get much chance to do around here but what with my dodgy knees there's no way I'm going to try it.
Oh, and although I fancy myself as a pretty good cook, I can't bake. I've tried bread but it comes out as the sort of stuff that would kill Ernie.....
And my swimming used to awful aswell when I was growing up. However, due to my dodgy knees (see above) and the fact that at Uni the University Sports Centre was only two minutes walk away and only cost 10p to get into (i.e.cheaper than switching on the water heater for a bath) I started swimming regularly aged 22 for both health and hygiene reasons. It's still my main source of exercise. I usually do 1km, I've done a mile often but have never done more because it just gets too boring.

4. If it's hot enough to wear sandals I don't wear socks. If I'm going somewhere where open toes could be a liability or dangerous I just put on appropriate footwear (shoes for work, desert boots for casual). Similarly with shorts/long trousers. Dress appropriately, I say!

5. I don't usually suffur too badly (although there was that night in Bucharest when I woke up almost literally covered in Mosquito bites). If there are biters about I just put up with it to be honest.

Chris said...

'Tin's scatalogical activities'

Que?

snadfrod said...

AAAGH! I just got an email telling me that The G is not going to do a fantasy football next year! So the UniDond league is currently no more. And I, of course, can retire as champion...

Anyone know of another good free league, without having to stoop to other, more horrible, newspapers?

DarceysDad said...

I've just had the same email, Snadfrod, and I'm definitely up for having a crack at prising the Unidond Trophy from your jammy little fingers!

So, yes, let's take our ball, and find another playing field!

;o)

Japanther said...

ah...good questions as always, i'm never short of admiration for the cleverness of 'em all, so....

1. It's a pretty common gripe, but I hate, hate, hate queue jumping. I'm a very mellow non-confrontational person at all times, but when I see a queue jumper something just switches inside.

2. Simple is best and I love a nice rich vanilla.

3. A LOT of basic skills missing for me. I still don't have a drivers licence (not that you need it it Tokyo, but...) , I can't cook. My brain can't retain numbers, even short, simple easy ones. There are more, but my heads a wee bit fuzzy from ice wine and overwork....

4. The heat (it was well over 30 degrees today and I was in a bloody suit from 7am until 8pm!) and the humidity (over 90% in the summer. In fact I am sweating profusely as I type, despite the fact that it's 12:45 at night) in Japan make sandals essential. I've got some traditional Japanese style ones that are hard to describe, but of course, wearing with socks is illegal..

5. We have a bottle of what the Japanther household calls "kayui juice" or "itching juice" which you buy from the chemist, but it's a cure rather than a preventative. It works a treat though and stops itching from mossie bites instantly, as I found out this very evening as I went to the supermarket in my aforementioned Japanese sandals and immediately got bitten on the foot.

saneshane said...

re: uniDond

Don't let snadfrod have the ball tho.. he'll start playing two weeks before the rest of us, to get an indecent head start...

(says still mildly bitter loser!)

nilpferd said...

..I'm wondering if Abahachi's Chocolate/Chilli icecream is any good as an insect repellent? It might attract the wasps, but they'd get a helluva shock if they tried landing on you..
And Snad- JUST DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THE WEATHER, OK PAL??!!!!

snadfrod said...

*small talk ends*

nilpferd said...

*'Pferd frees 'Frod*

nilpferd said...

'Pferd befriends 'Frod, proffers a pottle of Phish food.

debbym said...

1. Inexcusable breaches of etiquette are inexcusable, period.

2. Quiet voice: not a great fan of ice-cream unless pregnant (then with all the works)

3. Apparently I can't even comment on a blog without getting everything deleted and having to start again from scratch. Also, ALL of the above (incl. Japanther's non-driving) except cooking - I can even cook rice.

4. Bare feet whenever possible (not necessarily restricted to summer).

5. Last time I found myself in midgeville was midsummer 1991 in Estonia - found that a mixture of vodka, tallin liqueur and sekt (taken internally) worked wonders.

Thanks everyone for kind words over on the Mothership last week - haven't been around much since then (was too busy being upset and trying to do the impossible) and may not be around much this week either, as it's our little festival this weekend (world premiere of THE BOX, featuring mrdebbyjr) and I've still got a lot of work to put in to make the impossible happen there (and I'm banking on a better success rate with that this week). Thanks to everyone for always cheering me up on here - one day I'll buy you all the ice-cream of your choice!

nilpferd said...

Thought of you today, Debbym- the Hamburg Fish Market starts here tomorrow, I think we send you a Weindorf in return sometime in the Autumn.. best of luck for the weekend..

CaroleBristol said...

1.Hot, humid evenings, too much alcohol, overheated flats... nerves tend to get frayed when the mercury is rising. I like to think I'm pretty tolerant online, but face to face I've been known to roll my eyes if someone ever chews with their mouth open.. which (other) inexcusable breaches of etiquette get your goat?

People who belch after a meal. Inexcusable in the extreme.

2.Favourite ice-cream flavour? Optional extra- are you a cone or a pottle person?

OMG I have to choose one? OK, Chocolate. In a cone.

3.We'll possibly be heading to the beach at some stage, where I'll lie around in the sun and wonder what it's like being able to swim properly, rather than just take a few unconvincing strokes before stopping to gasp for air... I think this dates back to school swimming lessons in early autumn, in an unheated, uncovered pool in the deep south ... what basic life skill do you lack, and why?

I can't ride a bicycle. I don't have very good balance and I just can't get it upright. I've tried loads of times.


4.Summer fashion.. Open toed shoes, sandals, flip flops... do you wear socks or not? (Be very careful with this one- your continued presence on the Guardian website could depend on it)

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

5.Summers in NZ, at least on the west coast, aren't complete without sandflies, which appear in swarms and leave very itchy bites.. everyone has their „secret“ insect repellent, whether it's Vitamin B in industrial quantities, running around the whole time, or smearing yourself in a mixture of garlic paste and petrol.. what's your failsafe insect repellant, or do you simply take a more holistic view and try to ignore the little buggers? In which case, I suggest you don't visit Milford Sound between October and April..

That Jungle Juice spray is pretty good. I get huge pus filled swellings from insect bites so I need an extra strong repellent.

chair of the double entendre society said...

Huge, pus filled swellings anywhere near your Rhone delta could be veeerrryyy nasty..

snadfrod said...

*'Frod grabs a spoon, proffers a stubbie o'beer*

steenbeck said...

Good questions, Nilpferd, and all strangely appropriate to my life, lately.

1. I was just thinking yesterday that this would make a good EOTWQ. I was thinking it as I was trying to cross the street with 2 children, and no cars would stop for me. I hate when cars don't stop for pedestrians in the cross walk. For one thing, where I live, it's the law. For another...well, honestly it just makes sense, doesn't it? I also hate when people stop to let you go because they have to (like at a stop sign) but they wave you across impatiently, or as if they're doing you a big favor. Grrrrr. It has also always bothered me when people yawn while they are talking. Not sure why, but even when I was little it made me cranky.

2. Just last night had our first ice cream cone in a while. One scoop of something caramelly with dark chocolate chips in it and one scoop of amaretto, with chocolate sprinkles (or jimmies or hundreds and thousands) Deelicious. mostly I like something with a vanilla base with a little bit of chocolate. And I like nut flavors but not chunks of nuts. And always on a cone. It amused me the other day to read on line that scientists had scientifically determined that ice cream tastes better on a cone. I like the word Pottle, though. DsD--I used to work in an ice cream store, too. My first and longest lasting job. Loved it.

3. I'm not good at any of the normal adult things I'm supposed to be able to do to get through the day--laundry, paying bills, cleaning, getting to the post office when I need to, remembering what day of the week it is. Honestly, sometimes it's a wonder ....

One thing I'm good at, though--most of the time, I do freeze up sometimes--is small talk. Not in the "how's the weather, how bout those Mets" sense of the word. but--this might sound a little odd--I think I'm good at talking to shy people. Partly because I'm genuinely curious about people, I suppose.

4. Lately I've been wearing Lo Top Chucks year round. They're my only shoes. With socks in winter, without in summer. I do own a pair of flip flops, but I don't wear them very often. I tried to find some more practical and stylee winter shoes, but had no luck. Next year...

5. We have a nest of little yellow jackets in the bricks of our house. After 3/4 of us got stung--multiple times, for some--and we noticed that they were actively attacking us even when we were minding our own business, we sprayed some poison in their hole. Still some around. But I need to be able to go in my garden! For mosquitos--if we're stationary we use citronella candles. If we're walking around some insect repellant, which never really works. For ticks--avoid the tall grass, stay on the path, and change your clothes and give the boys a bath after. For horse flies, bring the dog--they like her better. And smack them when they land on her. (poor dear)

ejaydee said...

See I'm always afraid people will think I'm too curious, the trick is to know where to start.

goneforeign said...

BaBe: I keep hearing about people who're unable to cook rice, I can't believe it, it's as simple as boiling eggs. Try this one, it's infallible.
Take 1 cup of rice, real rice like Basmati, rinse it under running water for 3-4 mins to remove the talc, place in saucepan. Add an equal volume of cold water, ie 1 cup, add some salt and bring it to a boil. Put a lid on the saucepan and lower the heat to the lowest setting possible and leave it for 1 hour, you can check at about 40 mins to give it a stir and add a bit of butter if you want. After 1 hour you will have perfect rice and since it's done by volume you can adjust easily for larger groups, 1 cup works for two people.
And Aba's chilli ice cream; I've made 4 batches of jam so far this summer and I always add about 1/2 teaspoon of Scotch Bonnet pepper. It gives a nice warm glow and works well against the sweetness and sharpness of the fruit. I've made some that my sister claims are inedible but 1/2 teaspoon is OK for most people.Making jam is as simple as making rice.
I saw one recently that fits my personal hates: A huge, obese, tattoo'd, blousy woman with a fag in her mouth and a cell phone in her hand trying to negotiate a huge Cadillac into a parking space with her other hand.
I go barefoot everywhere, have to.
Not bothered by bugs.
If they sell Haagen-Dazs where you live, try 'dulce de leche- caramel.' I often have about 2 teaspoons in a tiny bowl in the evening.
I'm not an elegant swimmer but I can swim all day.

nilpferd said...

*'Pferd proboscis probes stubbie, whose contents Saneshane has surreptitiously sipped. 'Pferd curses.*

Steen- I find it especially annoying when motorists do the I'm-waving-you-across-oblivious-to-the-fact-that-you-can't-see-me-through-the-sloping-windscreen dance.
Your ice-creams have induced a pavlovian reaction... I think I have to go and have some dessert now..

GF- so, you hate Caddy owners, right? I'm into that..

nilpferd said...

Actually, when I think about it I get really annoyed with queue jumpers, fag end chuckers, mobile phone blabbers, fork scrapers, selfish bastards, Purveyors of Portable music in Public Places, sexual swearword spouters, train-door hoggers, zebra crossing ingnoramuses, after-meal belchers, appointment violators, and spoon biters as well..

snadfrod said...

steen - A friend and I recently had a plan to mount a camera on the top of a car and just drive around filming pedestrians as they cross on a green light, or in front of a car that's a bit too close. The little half-walk/half-trot that many prefer is a beautiful and odd sight to behold.

My favourite, though, is when the pedestrian jogs about halfway across the road and (still in danger of mow-downage) assumes that the job is done and begins to casually saunter for the rest of the - still imperiled - way.

And as for motoring gestures, I always prefer the single finger thank, just raised from the steering wheel in ackowledgement of another driver. I would never harry a poor pedestrian, though. Walking is miserable enough...

steenbeck said...

What a cranky bunch we are!!

And I do find it's a delicate balance. I'm sure I've annoyed some people by being curious. I feel like I've even asked too many questions on the 'Spill or RR some times (but not as many as I've wanted to!) But I do find that sometimes people that seem shy--that aren't the first to charm your socks off--are the most interesting, and are even grateful that you take the time to talk to them. Not always though, sometimes they just want you to fuck off and leave them alone.

Snadfrod--I like your idea for a video. I did one in Boston based on the fact that humans still apparently have a prey instinct--so they'll sense that they're being watched. I rode around with a video camera, in a car, on the T (underground) on busses and with the video going, and captured the moment when people realized that I had it and glanced up at me.

ANd I meant to say that the best ice cream is probably a very very good vanilla--and it's probably also the best way to judge an ice cream, by how seriously they take their vanilla.

steenbeck said...

Actually the reason "inexcusable behavior" really struck a chord at the moment is a bit of a long story...

We live attached to a photographer's gallery--2 floors--both sides go right up to the street. It's a gallery, nobody's supposed to be living there (no kitchen, no shower, no bed) but the photographer has been for a while. He's always been a bit creepy and noisy, but we never said anything, even after very late night noisiness.

Last night, there was lots of furniture-moving type bumping around, but we ignored it, until at 2:30 in the morning there was loud yelling, the sound of large people running frantically down stairs and bursting through a door, and clouds of smoke wafting into our upstairs windows. On the sidewalk directly below our windows--2 complete strangers, completely out of their minds on something, clouds of smoke coming out of an open door. They were yelling, cutting each other with sticks and cork screws, throwing things at each other, half naked bleeding from all the wounds they'd given each other, and...laughing. No sign of the photographer or his car in sight. It's just not right, I tell you. It's just not neighborly.

TatankaYotanka said...

1: In London; random queuers at bus stops who obliviously block the pavement and expect pedestrians to slalom round them ... these same folk have another trick; at cash machines they queue at rigid right angles across the pavement ....

2: Black Cherry with a scoop of Pistachio on the side from Oddono's in Selfridges, Oxford Street ... in a plain waffle cone, natch

3: 6'4" with short legs for my height ... never been able to roller skate .... It's like that scene where Bambi tries to stand up.

4: Sockless sandals, flip flops and a proper pedicure and nail varnish for the months between the equinoxes .... this week, coincidentally, I am mostly wearing black cherry ;)

5: As Abahachi noted, always hang out with juicier mortals and as DebbyM says, you exude what you consume and plenty of garlic and fresh herbs in the diet seems to do it for me.

nilpferd said...

Freaky, Steen. Your neighbour doesn't happen to be a
Mr. la M.E. Planet, by any chance?
Just wondering..
It reminds me of a night just before my final design project was due, I was working all day and night and sleeping 5 hrs a night if I could get it... I was living on the top floor of an otherwise empty, 7 storey building, sometimes people rented floors out for workshops.. there was this almighty racket at about 2 am, I went downstairs in my PJ's and in the room below there were 12 people, some very loud techno playing, and someone standing on a table screaming abuse at their (absent) boss.. it was supposedly an anger management weekend.. after I'd convinced the course "guru" of my own need to have my anger managed, they at least closed the windows so I could sleep..

TracyK said...

1: I'm also incensed by the mobile-on-public-transport thing. I asked some kids to shut off their appalling shite once and the young man in question looked at me furiously and hissed "Look, I'm sorry I don't have any-" and he looked me up and down, obviously trying to gauge what kind of music I liked "-Mozart..." He didn't get further than that because I burst out laughing, but he did it. It really bothers me when people pretend what's going on isn't going on but will suck their teeth or tut at poor behaviour. I was always stopping fights on busses when I lived in London. Mind, I do still have the scars from one particular (middle-aged woman) mentallist.

2: We have a fab little ice-cream parlour near the cathedral which is a very short diversion on my route home. They constantly change flavours but last week I enjoyed an Amaretto and a Turkish Delight. And a pineapple frozen yogurt. I like caramelly ice-creams, so agree with GF's Haagen-Dazs dulce de leche. They also recently did a limited edition speculoos one, that I quickly and regrettably got addicted to. I liked apple pie flavour in Japan. I like sweets! I won a massive cake in a raffle today at school, mmm...

3: I love swimming, it makes my brain suddenly go very tranquil. Best ever swim: Reading Festival, river Thames, Green Day playing in the distance. Just don't swallow.
I don't drive. Everyone agrees it's for the best. Never had a single lesson, really don't want to. Very bad cyclist too, no balance. No skating of any kind. Pf.

4: Men's feet in sandals distress me greatly. They just do, sorry boys. I like to be barefoot whenever I can. One of life's great joys is standing on dewy grass in the early summer monring light, cuppa in hand. I like my new Teva's, they are almost not there.

5: Jon is fudge flavoured, so I am almost never bitten. those NZ flies almost ate us alive somewhere near Hokitika. Brr.

Can't cook rice? The answer is a rice-cooker. They never fail.

GarethI said...

1. Playing music through mobiles. It's very nice of you to share, but you're invading my space. I used to get annoyed at queue jumpers at London bus stops, but that goes on everywhere now. And don't get me started on people who talk at gigs…
2. Marine Ices in north London makes its own ice cream. Has done since 190something. The rum and raisin is the closest you can get to heaven in a dish.
3. My small talk is rubbish and I can't throw overarm.
4. It's jeans or linen trousers. I confine shorts to the gym.
5. Usually they don't come near me, but playing softball at Regent's Park last week my legs were clearly plat du jour for the midges.

FP said...

'Abend Herr Hippo. Evenin' all....
1. Large 4 wheel drive cars parked lazily across two car spaces. I resist the urge to lazily gouge my keys along the side. Just.
2. Ask Toffeeboy. In a pottle.
3. Ich kann auch nicht schwimmen. Too much chlorine in the pool as a kid - total allergic reaction. Never learned. Never will....
4. Only wear socks under flip flops if you're doing the Japanese garden fight scene in Kill Bill. Otherwise a no no.
5. Citronelle in France. Think it's vaguely bio.....
Das war's schon!!!

GarethI said...

With rice – and this is 99.99% per cent foolproof – I use a 1:1.5 ratio of white basmati rice to cold water, which is dead easy judge given that 1 ml of water weight 1 gramme. Put in the pan, bring up to the boil then turn down to a very low simmer and leave covered for 25 minutes max. Then set aside for five minutes before removing the saucepan lid.

TracyK said...

ARGH! Gareth! Talking at gigs!!!! I threatened to "stand on the throat" of a woman who talked all through Doves except for the 4 songs she knew, who went on to take multiple pics of herself with her mobile, blinding me, who was standing right behind her, in the process. When she said "I dunno whether to come to see Maximo Park here next week, I only know one of their songs I let rip with the throat thing. She was quite shocked.
I'm with Adam and Joe on this one: cattle prods, order of height, no band shirts.

ToffeeBoy said...

1. There's nothing that gets my goat more than aggressive, inconsiderate, sociopathic drivers. People who enter yellow boxes when their exit isn't clear deserve to be shot.

2. Nothing beats the 1970's classics - it's the Neapolitan for me, or nothing! But as a close second, DiRollo's - Edinburgh's finest.

3. As a rule, I'm fairly good at sports. Football, cricket, athletics (as a much younger man) - I even played a bit of rugby and hockey at school. I was a reasonably good darts player in my twenties but ... but ... can I play snooker???? Can I f*ck! I'm embarrassingly bad. The only good news is that I've learned not even to try.

4. Plasticy-rubbery-sandaly-beachy type things - definitely without socks. That would be positively vile.

5. We seem to have some sort of deal - I ignore them, and they, by and large, ignore me. I can be sitting somewhere in close company with ToffeeGirl watching the blighters crawling over her supping away at her delightful blood while I remain unsullied by insect-kind. Weird, innit?

nilpferd said...

A flatmate who was a chef once taught me to cook basmati rice as follows..
Theoretically you should rinse it first, if you do try to get it as dry as possible afterwards.
Heat a little butter in a saucepan, then add the rice, stir it to coat. I use 250g rice, which fills a cappucino cup and serves about three people. Then add twice the quantity of boiling water as there was rice- in my case, 2 cups- it will bubble up a bit as it hits the hot rice. Add 1 tsp. salt and stir. Put a lid on the pan, increase the heat until the water is boiling, then turn down very low for about five minutes. After that, remove from the heat and let stand for at least ten minutes (but you can leave it for longer), still with the lid on. In general, a thicker walled pot will produce better results than a thinner walled one.
Now, somebody tell me how to swim...

GarethI said...

Absolutely, Tracy. Take the Charlie Brooker approach: lock them in a room, brick up the doors and pump it full of killer bees.
To tell the truth, I don't object to sotto voce conversations about the music. It's the full-blown discussions of holidays, new cars, property values and the cute girl in accounts – anything bar the fkn gig that other people have paid money for – that drives me round the bend.
Mnemonic is particularly opposed to that sort of thing, as that woman who started talking while Bon Iver was on at Shepherd's Bush could testify.
Adam and Joe are brilliant. Fact.

TracyK said...

Black Squadron! I want to know Mnemonic's response, I've clearly missed something here. When I saw Bright Eyes at Dingwalls just after 'Lifted...', it was full of music industry types and they were deafeningly, brayingly awful.

tincanman said...

So if there is an easy and foolproof way to make rice, how come none of you do it the same?

We need a cook-off

saneshane said...

I saw Bright Eyes at a German festival.. he spent ages getting the musicians right and perfect sound for the harpist... about four songs in Franz Ferdinand started on the main stage and the noise pollution drowned him out.

HE WASN'T A HAPPY Chappy.
and neither were we.

TracyK said...

He's an intense young man, isn't he?

Mnemonic said...

Gareth, I'm blushing!

I'm with Nilpferd on the rice method, never fails.

I hate open mouth while eating, noisy chewing gummers, fag smokers who don't look what they're doing with the ash (in fact, fag smokers, full stop), txt spk by anyone over the age of 25 (especially if not in a text), other people's loud music (i can use headphones, why can't they?) Mind you, my noisy neighbours were struck silent for days when I retaliated with Flight of the Behemoth at loud volume. Bloody drivers who make revving noises when you're crossing the road (in the first two years after my major traffic incident, three months in a wheelchair, six months on crutches, I was known to assault them verbally).

Icecream, anything coffee-flavoured. I still regret the loss of Ben & Jerry's Coffee, coffee, coffee, buzz, buzz, buzz. However, a good vanilla with a strong ristretto poured over it will be OK. Coffee granita with whipped cream is fine too. However, the best icecream in the world is from Jelberts on Newlyn Bridge, home-made vanilla with a topping of home-made clotted cream.

I am incompetent at anything that requires balance or co-ordination. I don't drive, I don't swim, I can't catch balls, can't skate, hate running. However, I absolutely adore Pilates. Did it for fourteen years after aforementioned traffic incident and still would if I could afford it.

Socks with sandals - makes sign of cross and averts eyes.

If it bites, it will find me and I am hugely allergic to most of them. Only successful repellant was from a healthfood shop in Sydney. Think it was largely citronella oil. I even sprayed it on my hair to keep the little bastards from biting my face. Teatree oil helps with the aftermath when I am bitten.

saneshane said...

as for rice
if I even touch it, it makes me throw up... (hello to my junior school headmaster, didn't believe me.. got jackson polloxed from head to lap)

It hasn't been easy living with vegetarians most of my adult life. Especially as students when anything could be in the sink.. that didn't bother me, just the rice.

Weird.

DarceysDad said...

OK Shane, that last one was indeed just too weird. Stop it now please, you're scaring me.
Reminds me of my brother-in-law, who physically recoils and goes that funny transluscent white/green colour at anything which is OR WHICH EVEN RESEMBLES jam. JAM!!!! W - T - F - ?

DaddyPig said...

RICE: The ratio of water to rice is between 2:1 and 1.5:1, depending on how leaky your saucepan lid is at the edges, the size of the pan and amount of rice. Leaky lid and/or shallow layer of rice means more of the water is evaporated, so more water in the first place.

SOCKS: I thought I could trust you chaps to have a laid-back attitude on this one, oh well. It's kind of to do with diabetic feet, though probably I just need better, more breathable trainers for the sock days when my feet need more than sandals alone. But lack of style sense comes into it too.

DOUBLE ENTENDRES - just managed to avoid wording the above as if sandals might be all I was wearing. Phew !

steenbeck said...

Do you have Goya brand products over there? (It's Spanish, but I always think of it as Mexican) If so, I'll continue with my Rice Advice (I'm a poet and I noet.)

Catcher said...

1. This is a behaviour I've mostly noticed with women, apologies if it sounds sexist, but it irritates me SO much. I'm in a long queue in a shop, we're all waiting, we all know what we have and therefore should be able to estimate a rough cost, so as to get out of there and back to our lives as soon as possible. Or at least realise that there will be money required when the till is reached. But no, she arrives at the till, all items are scanned, and a total given. Then comes the interminable rooting in the bag for the purse, and the search for as near to exact change as possible. Change will be allocated to the correct pouch within the purse (apparently, there's one per denomination), and the purse will be hidden deep within the bag. All while I stand there with a note in my hand, ready to pay, teeth grinding, three women in front of me. And each will repeat the procedure, as if stunned by the entire concept. Don't you have pockets just in case you might suddenly need money?! For example, after you've been queuing at a till for 8 minutes?! Hulk . . . SMASH!!!!

2. All ice-cream is good. Prefereably served in a barrel. With a trowel.

3. To my baffled shame, my laces will not stay tied for more than ten minutes. I reckon I've spent at least a few months of my life stopping to tie them as I walk. Even my then-7-year old goddaughter gave up on trying to teach me how to do it properly. Despite which . . .

4. No, no, and ohgodno. Especially without socks. I studied medicine for a while, and spent a few weeks placed with a podiatrist, and saw enough manky feet to do me a lifetime. I don't even like looking at my own after that experience.

5. Having accumulated a breathtaking collection of welts from West of Ireland midges over the past two months (by the way, anyone know how long they live?), I have yet to find one, but believe me, I'm paying very close attention to your answers to this one.

I know I've come across as a very grumpy old man in the course of this comment, but it's been hugely cathartic. Cheers, nilpferd!

BalearicBeat said...

I think I'm going to take TracyK's advice and get a rice cooker.

Can you pay them by the hour or is it a live-in arrangement?
;-)

TonNL said...

....the best commercially available icecream: Mövenpick Rhubarb & Strawberry, which comes in a nice 175ml pottle...

TonNL said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ejaydee said...

Thanks for the Five Piece Band version of IASW, nilpferd, It's ABout that Time is nowhere near as tight as the original, but it's a damn fine effort.

Marconius7 said...

1. People who talk in movie theatres are very annoying.
2.I love double scoop ice cream cones - chocolate on the bottom and a sorbet on top - lime, lemon, orange or raspberry.
3. My wife will tell you the life skill I lack is listening. I believe this is not just me but probably a lot of guys. I am very good at nodding and pretending to listen.
4. I don't wear sandals - shoes and socks most of the time or barefoot at the beach or a pool.
5. Not many bugs in Vancouver but if we have a few, citronella candles seem to do the trick.


and...I'll agree with the rice cooker. We have one and it makes perfect rice every time.

nilpferd said...

Mara and Sandra second the double scoop suggestions.. theirs are chocolate with, respectively, lime and lemon. While I'm it, here are their other responses.. Sandra gets annoyed when people leave cupboard doors open, and -ahem- spend too much time on the computer.. Mara hates it when kids do the saying-exactly-what-you-just-said thing..
Basic skills wise, Mara regrets not being able to perform a backwards somersault, while Sandra is unwilling to operate DVD or CD players because of their idiotic and utterly illogical use of a filled in square to represent the stop button.
It was Sandra who got me to ditch the socks-with-sandals thing, while Mara does occasionally wear socks, but not with flip-flops, which just doesn't work.
Insect repellents: Mara swears by her Gran's lime flavoured Dimp, a secret weapon from down under; while Sandra prefers to hunt mossies down with the vacuum cleaner. Not very practical at the beach, though.

nilpferd said...

Coffee icecream reminds me of frozen espresso, which is delicious on hot summer days.. not that we have any here at the moment.. it needs sugar to make it work properly, then you get sort of a gravelly mush.. yum..
Don't envy the rice and jam aversions much, though...
@Steen, haven't seen any Goya prods. here at least, but don't let that stop you putting your rice advice up..
@catcher- you're welcome! As Steen pointed out, we all seem to be a cranky lot..
@TonNL- excellent use of the word "pottle"..
@EJD- cheers! I particularly like what Hancock does on piano and the way it alternatively tightens up, then loosens again. Still, nothing tops the original.

AliMunday said...

1. Dunno where to start - bad behaviour on trains is good, pushing, shoving, talking loudly on mobiles like 'I'M THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON ON THIS TRAIN, LOOK AT ME, I HAVE A REALLY IMPORTANT JOB AND A SUIT AND A LAPTOP AND I'VE PUT ALL MY STUFF ON THE NEXT SEAT SO NO ONE CAN SIT ON IT'. So I make them move it so I can sit down. Heh heh.

2. Prefer sorbet but if forced then something nutty or just vanilla. In a plain cone.

3. I was scared of the water as a child and didn't learn to swim until I was 36. I swim doggy paddle - strong legs and paddling arms, or sometimes one arm does something rather like the crawl while the other one paddles. I wouldn't like to attempt it in real water, like the sea. Not good at social occasions unless under the affluence of incahol.

4. No socks. Can't wear flip flops, they cut my toes to shreds.

5. Mosies - I am other people's repellant. Just take me out with you and all the mosies will eat me and leave you alone. It works every time. Our garden is full of the little b*ggers, they lurk under the trees and wait for me to come out. I've tried insect-repellant suncream but they always find a crack in the armour.

Mark said...

Hello everyone, Mark68 here. I've never posted here before - I've popped in to look and listen, but have always felt slightly overwhelmed by the astonishing amount of stuff on here. Came to say I'd be up for the fantasy football next season if we can find a free league. It'd be rude of me not to answer the questions...

1. I'm another one who can't stand people talking at gigs. I usually have words, which I'd encourage you to do - I only occasionally get grief for it. I must share this with you though - I was in the toilet at work last week, and one of my colleagues was in there, talking on his mobile whilst quite audibly having a poo. He was still talking when he flushed. I find that unacceptable on so many levels I don't know where to start.

2. Rum & Raisin, in a cone.

3. I can't swim either. I've been thinking for a while that I should learn, but water scares me. It moves in mysterious ways.

4. I couldn't possibly inflict my hideous toes on the public.

5. Insects tend to leave me alone if my wife's around. We both eat a lot of garlic, but it doesn't seem to help her.

gordonimmel said...

Looks like I've been cooking rice incorrectly all the time.
Basically I boil up more water than I need, boil rice until it's ready (scoop some out with a spoon and taste) then drain off excess water. Done.
I never realised it was supposed to be more complicated than that.

DarceysDad said...

Welcome aboard, Mark, thoughas virgin comments on The 'Spill go, the revelation (about No.2s) in your answer to No.1 is probably not one you'll remember with any fondness in your dotage!!

We're no further on with the Fantasy Footy yet, I'm afraid. I suspect we'll have to wait for some of the sites/newspapers to publish their 09/10 games before we make a decision.

nilpferd said...

Hi Mark, nice of you to pop in.. The juvenile in me is sniggering at the phrase "Rum and raisin in a cone", which does take on a rather unsavoury secondary meaning, located as it is below your opening story.. which itself reminds me, don't the Japanese have a button on their toilets which makes a flushing sound? Sure Tracky or Japanther has already mentioned this..

GI, sure the cook and drain method works fine, the absorption method for me just produces that (saneshane, look away at this point) nice, slightly dry texture which is very satisfying with sauces. I find cook n' drain leaves you with slightly sloppy, drippy rice. I have to admit I've never quite mastered the art of cooking brown or wild rice to my own satisfaction, though.

ejaydee said...

I was listening to a bigshot at Kikkoman being interviewed, and he mentioned you could put a little bit of soy sauce on vanilla ice cream. Has anyone tried it?

nilpferd said...

nope.. will try it, though, could be interesting.
BTW, I was thinking about the extent to which we inquire about things or reveal things online, and one thing I was wary of with RR initially was waffling on too much about, say, Miles Davis, although I did also enjoy those discussions early on. At some stage I felt there was maybe going to be a bit of resentment or backlash from others so I suppose I did start to self-censor after a certain point. Although I have to say, even the people who do repeatedly sing the praises of a particular group/individual don't really bother me at all.

treefrogdemon said...

@gordonimmel: I agree with you about the rice - I'm not much of a one for measuring things (though I use a mug for measuring the dry rice, and know how far up the mug for how many portions, sort of) and the other methods described just seem too fiddly for me. Plus, different kinds of rice need different cooking times. I would boil basmati for 8-10 minutes, but brown rice might need 25. My finished product never seems particularly soggy.

DaddyPig said...

Nilpferd, the specialists are one of the elements that make RR for me. You can really discover & learn something if you've time and inclination, and if someone might appear to be going on a bit you can skip over it.

Abahachi said...

I always assumed that rambling enthusiasm for an artist or song was fine, as people can always just skip it if they're not interested. Less excusable are the sorts of things that might upset someone's day if they catch sight of them: gratuitous rudeness about other people's choice of music, explicit disdain for other people's recommendations, sneering pedantry, miscellaneous abuse.

DsD said...

Did someone mention richardrj?

;o)

DOWN, KALYR! Down, boy.

Japanther said...

@nilpferd

ah....the fake flush sound button, yes indeed they do exist, but only in the more respectable thrones. It's difficult to get the timing right though!

As we are onto toilet talk, I should mention that most flats these days come with a "washlet" as standard. No fake flush sound, but all the other bells and whistles included; heated seat and bidet type thing. Couldn't live without it now!

Chris said...

DsD: There were some positive comments from dear richard last week on a GD blog (and he made some self-deprecating comment about habitually being nasty about other people's taste). Tim also put in an appearance and there were no fisticuffs.
R's final comment reverted a little to type ('this is why I hate...') but I get the impression that he just gets worked up very quickly and posts before he thinks. And he never considers others' opinions and/or feelings.

I think we have another, more regular contributor to RR who actually revels in being aggressive and unpleasant, subequently passing it off as a joke. I find that much more unforgivable.

barbryn said...

1. Not exactly etiquette, more basic road safety. Indicators. They show whether your car is turning left or right. They are very easy to use. WHY DO SO MANY PEOPLE NOT GET THIS?

2. One scoop of cassis and one scoop of citron, in a proper waffle cone. In France. I tried this combination in Germany, however (where the ice cream is usually excellent), and instead of tart blackcurrant soothed by a delicate lemon, the lemon was bitter and the blackcurrant over-sweet. Totally wrong.

I haven’t tried soy sauce, but would heartily recommend vanilla ice cream, whisky (Laphraig for preference) and freshly ground black pepper. Seriously.

3. I have a bit of a fear of the telephone, and talking to people I don’t know. Not a great quality in a journalist…

4. Not wearing socks is a great pleasure of summer. Like ToffeeBoy, I have a pair of plasticy-rubbery-sandaly-beachy type things, for those rare occasions when I leave the house.

5. Scented candles and pots of basil are supposed to be good, but aren’t especially portable. I can’t sleep with a mosquito in the room, but am quite good at killing them with a well-aimed towel-thwack.

Mnemonic said...

I agree with Chris. There is a far worse offender than Richardrj around. The kind of bully who, when you turn on them just says "I was only teasing; can't you take a joke" is one of the worst.

steenbeck said...

Welcome aboard the SS'Spill, Mark! Blimpy seems to be on vacation, or in some undisclosed location, so nobody is actually steering this thing at present. But somebody will be around soon to take your drink order and you'll soon forget all about that little detail.


Can I just say that vanilla, whisky & Black pepper sounds phenomenal. I'm black pepper's biggest fan. I like it in chocolate, or chocolate cake, or coffee. I have a little ice cream maker--I wonder if I could make a batch of that.

Mark68 said...

Cheers everyone! I was a little concerned that having turned this thread into a discussion about toilets I might not be invited back. I must get round to submitting a proper membership application. I like it here.

Abahachi said...

@barbryn: not to forget those who possess the Magic Indicator, that allows you to switch lane the moment you put it on, without needing to look in the mirror.

nilpferd said...

Abahachi- now, steady on. You're talking about people who, according to my father, have broken index fingers. It costs them a lot of pain to activate that blinker, the decision to do so is not an easy one.
Barbryn- Newspaper! Ms. Nilpferd is sticking with her vacuum cleaner, thank you very much- this is the 21st. century, after all..

Chris said...

Cheers, mnemonic. The other thing about rrj that evokes sympathy in me is that, by his own proud admission, his favourite music dispenses with both melody and rhythm. Quite a harsh world to inhabit, IMHO.

TatankaYotanka said...

Gordonimmel and supporters are quite right, the important thing with plain rice is having teeth and a tongue that can tell when it's cooked. I've never been in any professional kitchen where they faff about with the stuff ... whatever type of rice or cuisine. The only finesse I would add to the method is to rinse with a little fresh boiling water and ideally have it set aside in a warm place for 5 or ten minutes before serving. If you can tell when your pasta is al dente, you've got the technique for rice. Now risotto, biryani, paella .... that's where rice requires technique and precision.

saneshane said...

steen "I'm black pepper's biggest fan"

I sometimes just crunch a black pepper corn.. after my eyes stop watering, the tingling sensation and taste is just divine.

and Mark68
in a couple of years when we do the 'my first comment on 'spill went a bit like this....."......

yours is going to be the winner, welcome aboard!


and DsD yep strange..
I try every few years to eat rice again.. not actually believing the reaction to it myself. but it still happens...
I do have very strange senses.

Shoey said...

Erm, I'm no culinary genius but:

Rinse 1 cup of rice well under the tap in one of those meshy things. Spoon into microwavable container with a lid. Add 2 cups water. Nuke for 5 minutes then half power for another 5.

Next week; Toast.

Mnemonic said...

All I can say, Shoey (and your method sounds admirable) is "Don't tell FP".

I can sympathise with saneshane on the texture of rice sometimes being unpleasant. Bad experiences with school dinners meant that I couldn't stomach rice in any form for several years and I still cannot abide rice pudding. What is really sad is that I remember loving it before I went to school.

cauliflower said...

Cue one of my favourites jokes: This ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with chopped nuts, hundreds and thousands and rapsberry sauce. Police think that he topped himself.

3. Life skill
I love swimming, try to go several times a week, and although I learned early, in the sea from 12.30pm every day for years as a child in Aden, I never learned to crawl. So, when working near a nice little pool in south London which no-one ever used, I went every day and trained myself to do it without inhaling water. It's still difficult, but I can do it!

If you haven't yet learned to swim, please do - it's one of life's great pleasures. I will give you free lessons - come visit.

Last Fri/Sat/Sun included 1k in Hackney lido (worth a visit, even if you're from out of town), 20 mins in the sea near Margate (beautiful little bay, warm sea, no-one there, even on a hot summer day) and a mile in the local pool. Can hardly wait for swimming in lake and sea in a couple of weeks, in the Skaggerak. O joy!

But the life skill I would love to have is playing the piano. It would be wonderful to play for people to sing.

4. Summer fashion
I'm always FAR TOO HOT, so my summer fashion lasts all year round in the UK. Very fond of Birkenstocks - I can run, they grip rocks, they float, and seem almost acceptable in polite company.

5. Insect repellent
Hmm. I nearly died from sandfly fever as a child, many weeks in isolation being stabbed in the bum several times a day by masked medics. Made me the woman I am today etc. Possibly as a result, I'm extremely allergic to some insect bites, so... my favoured repellent is ABSOLUTE AVOIDANCE and COVERING UP! I hope that taking antihistamine tabs will kill the little blighters so that when they do bite me they won't do it again.

I'm going to test any suggestions above in the next few weeks - will let you know.

Re rice cooking - the slow methods seem most sensible, but this (like goronimmel's) is foolproof for white rice. Bring salted water to simmer, add as much rice as you want (leaving space for it to move) and start counting to 11 minutes. Bring back to boil, stir and simmer until time is up. Drain into colander, rinse through in boiling water, dry over warm saucepan with lid on top (avoids wet rice problem). Then (add butter, if you're an addict like me, and) serve.

I'm with the rest of you on talking at gigs. I do 'looks' that kill. I wish they would.

gordonimmel said...

@saneshane, your eyes water after just one peppercorn.......?
A few weeks ago we visited a friend who had 'sourced' (I think that's the proper word nowadays) peppercorns in cocolate. Now that's what I call yummy!

I sympathise with you and the rice. I have a problem with bread in water or milk. To simply see it (i.e. a discarded sandwich in the rain) leads to me retching violently. Strangely, I have no problem with bread dunked in soup, which I often consume.
No, I don't understand it either

cauliflower said...

Mnemonic - your rice reaction sounds like my friend's mashed potato phobia, acquired at an insanely repressive Scottish prep school for 6 year olds. I blame the teachers.

For quite different reasons, I can't eat solid (or, even worse, only slightly cooked) egg whites. Meringues are fine. It's the glutinous curly gummy bits I can't stand. Oh dear, too much information.

gordonimmel said...

@cauliflower, so now I'm goronimmel. That's cool. Very Croat. Very Tennis. Better than gorgonimmel, which I was a couple of weeks ago, but that wasn't too bad either.
Whoever's doing EOTWQ's next week should ask 'how has your name been mispelt' I'll start writing my list now in preparation.

nilpferd said...

Ha, tell me about it, Mr. Ivanisevic! You've never experienced the humiliation of having your moniker mispelled on the GU Culture front page, have you?
And surely nothing tops NIPFNERD, courtesy of one R.Hutton, which I seriously considered adopting..

saneshane said...

@gordonIvanisevic

I didn't really explain that very well.. but my senses are so strange that even peppercorns - that I love to crunched up bits - can make my tongue swell to twice its size and my wind pipe narrow to such an extent that I can't breath properly.. I love paprika too.. but I have to be so careful it's untrue.

(my boss can't eat anything RED otherwise we have to give him an adrenaline shot..it's happened twice since I've know him.. if he pisses us off just one M&M... joke!)

cauliflower said...

ooh! my number 1 and 2 dropped off the post. too long?

anyway...
1. etiquette
Deserving of swift death - open mouthed chewing, spitting in the street, littering, mobile phone - and worse - on the bus. I sometimes do the pick-it-up-and-hand-it-back-with-a-smile thing, but only when I feel courageous.

2. Ice cream
Fruity ripples! Served in a glass dish. We make a batch on average every week - recent successes were 1) Rum&raisin, made with specially imported (from pal's grandparents) Granadan rum and raisins, and lots of cream, and 2) Coconut, banana and lime - make a shake of coconut milk, banana and cream - freeze in churner; make toffee syrup (sugar and water) and add juice of many limes, then ripple into ice cream; serve with hokey pokey (toffee crunch made with bicarb) and grilled pineapple.

The double scoop technique works ( memories of Rome) but I want to know Abahachi's choc-chilli recipe!

TatankaYotanka said...

For swimmers of all (and non) abilities and enthusiasms I'm just re-reading, and recommend, Roger Deakin's wonderful book 'Waterlog'; having worked my way back through 'Wildwood' and the posthumous 'Notes from Walnut Tree Farm'.

Waterlog is loosely linked to Frank Perry's film 'The Swimmer' and chronicles a swum tour of the wild and veiled waters of the UK.

For all of you with weird food aversions (as opposed to proper allergies) .... meet Ant and Dec .... or try dinner, bed and breakfasting in Xinjiang Uygur ...

FP said...

Loving the banter and Saneshane Jackson Pollocking his headmaster. If you'd eaten tagliatelli, would you have Kandinskied him?
Can I have another go, chaps? I thought of better answers!
1. People who fall asleep next to me at the Opera. And snore. And that happens more often than you would imagine...
2. Just remembered that I very much like our local Japanese restaurant's double scoop duo of green tea sorbet and red kidney bean ice cream. Very yummy....
3. Still can't swim. Or roller blade.
4. Socks still a no no under flip flops unless your name is O-Ren Ishii.
5. Frogprince smokes them away with his ciggies.
Off to pebble dash the interior of the microwave thanks to Shoey's splendid rice recipe.

Cackle.

DarceysDad said...

@ FP - There's a farm type ice cream place near Warkworth that your sorbet flavour reminded me of. Can't remember the name, but they did just THE most glorious grapefruit sorbet - talk about a palate cleanser!!!

And I can swim. I try to go once a week, and a mile is the required minimum (when I remember my goggles that is - burning eyes forced me from the pool 110m shy of that this week). But my biggest domestic trauma at the moment is trying to get DarceysSis to believe in herself in the water. Any tips on how I persuade her to (i) jump in to a swimming pool, and (ii) put her head completely under? She can't move up from her beginner class until she does both(in spite of 5x12m doggy paddle, 5x12m breaststroke, 2x12m backpaddle), and she just gets more and more terrified each time we try. We came home today with both of us near tears with the frustration of it all, and of course that starts the vicious downward spiral of actually destroying the confidence I want to build. We've tried going up a step at a time, we've tried bribery, we've tried shaming her (3y.o. Darcey just launches herself at me), we've tried going with her mates, with different classes, different teachers, different pools, me in the pool, me out and holding her hand, etc., etc. IT'S DRIVING ME ROUND THE PROVERBIAL BEND!!

Mnemonic said...

1. RELAX!

2. Try her with a face mask and snorkel and just let her play around with it. She can swim, that's the main thing.

FP said...

Do not purport to be an expert on kids... But any thoughts on playing with the snorkel thing and getting her to put her head under... in the bath? Would that cosy domestic situation take the fear away from the water?
And tell her she can swim oodles better than me anyway....

cauliflower said...

govanimmel, many apologees

FP said...

And can I have some grapefruit sorbet please?

FP said...

Gov'norImmel

Shoey said...

DsD, it sounds daft, but earplugs might help.

goneforeign said...

TatYo: Are you sure about Frank Perry and The Swimmer being set in UK? I saw it in the 60's, it was awful and it was set in upper NY.

magicman said...

1. drunk people who push in and pretend that they didn't see you. Anyone who pretends that they don't see you in fact. People who express their irritation with life through their driving (that'll be me then).

2. Banana. and steenbeck - you're so right about vanilla.

3. Smiling. I had a stressful, responsibility thrust-upon-young-shoulders kind of early life, and I learned to Take Life Seriously. Still Do. I HAVE learned to smile for the camera though ! Took 40 years..

4. Leather flip-flops with bare feet. Good for walking on the stones of Brighton Beach.

5. Lemongrass, mixed with oil, spread liberally. They hate it.

Shoey said...

Gottinhimmel?

TonNL said...

@barbryn: that whiskey icecream sounds great, only just found out that Mövenpick also have a whiskey (12 year old Glenfiddich) and shortbread icecream available, gonna check that the next time I am in Switzerland ....it's available in a nice big 500ml pottle btw....

TonNL said...

That's the thing I love about the 'Spill: about five or six sub-discussions going on in just one topic....

ps. going to do some soy sauce/ice cream research/experiments....

A BiGGer Splash said...

@ GoFo, yes the film is set in Connecticut (starring Burt Lancaster) but Roger Deakin took the idea of swimming in every bit of open water he came across as he toured the UK. Died too young just a couple of years ago, he was also a music fan, from memory, I think Wilco Johnson pops up in Waterlog.

Here's his Guardian Obit

http://www.guardian.co.uk/news/2006/aug/29/guardianobituaries.environment

gordonimmel said...

I'm liking the alternative name spellings, people.
But, Shoey, your suggestion is, in effect, where I came in........

nilpferd said...

Red kidney bean ice-cream? The scatalogical mind boggles..
One of the nicest ones we've made was a Nigel Slater sorbet recipe consisting only of yoghurt and icing sugar.
In NZ Speights brewery does beer icecream, using a malty dark.. it's a lot nicer than drinking the actual beer, in any case.

nilpferd said...

DD- I can only recommend patient understanding.. Mara was also allergic to having her head under for ages, for the same reason she also hated showers, at some stage she just did it anyway, but we were just resigned to waiting for it to happen. I think you're right about running the risk of destroying what little confidence she's gained if she sees how important it is for you, but she can't yet get over the fear of it for herself. Often (but not always), left to their own devices kids will just do these things in their own time.

Abahachi said...

One of the main reasons I dislike swimming, and specialise in backstroke when I can't avoid getting into the water, is that I still can't stand having my head under water - or jumping in, because that invariably leads to having one's head under water. Basic fear of suffocation (I'm not good with tunnels either), plus something to do with the eyes, so goggles and/or snorkel may help - though they didn't with me. Possibly this just confirms my status as pathetic.

treefrogdemon said...

@TatankaYotanka: you can read the story 'The Swimmer' by John Cheever (on which the Burt Lancaster film is based) at

http://shortstoryclassics.50megs.com/cheeverswimmer.html

nilpferd said...

I don't mind my head under water, but I think one of the reasons I can't swim properly is lack of controlled breathing- I always feel like the air is running out after two or three strokes, and need to stop for a proper breather.
Whereas I can jog or hike for miles without even raising a sweat.

cauliflower said...

...whereas I can barely run for a bus!

It was the breathing that finally made me concentrate on learning - had a close-to-death ailment some years back, lung infection that no doctor could make sense of, off work nearly a year and extremely frail, in ways I would never have imagined. I couldn't breath properly, almost felt scared of taking deep breaths in case I broke.

Swimming saved me - starting with a few minutes of floating and treading water in the shallow end, gradually - over 2 years - working up to full breathing. Having to focus on swimming-breathing rather than just staying alive made it easier somehow. But I do understand about face-in-water - until my mid 30s I had to hold my nose! The problem throughout life was that the water would tunnel up my nose and drown me. It's still not easy, but the pleasure of feeling water flowing around my skin now overtakes the fear. Had an uncle with the same fear - he would never put the plug into bath or washbasin, just in case.

TatankaYotanka said...

I'd been about to post a suggestion about breathing therapies when the phone went and then Cauliflowers comment appeared.

Have a look at this stuff .... may be a bit out there for some of the doggypaddlers but who knows :)

http://www.rebirthingbreathwork.co.uk/

Otherwise, with kids, get them to stick straws up their nose and blow bubbles in a cup of water, then a bowl, then the bath ... etc once they get that technique of positive pressure in the nose it makes the head under water stufff a lot easier.

nilpferd said...

I'm quite good at getting other people to blow liquids, generally red wine, out of their nose, usually onto their keyboard, as FP will attest.. but I must say I haven't tried it that much myself..

Shoey said...

Gordon, yeah I know, sorry, but you can't beat a classic.

gordonimmel said...

Tatanka Yotanka said 'the phone went and then Cauliflowers comment appeared'
So, cauli is sending you comments by phone but we have to wait till she posts them up here?
'snotfair!

GarethI said...

Is this a record-setting thread now?

snadfrod said...

Yes it probably is...

Re. Rice - sorry, I've nothing to add to the debate. I prefer bulghur wheat. *middle class cackle*

Re. Mis-spelt names - my proper name is so often subtly mis-spelt that it was really very amusing when someone, a good while ago now, mis-spelled my nom-de-blog perfectly so that it became my ACTUAL surname.


And re. second children - @DsD, I didn't know that your two were those ages. That's exactly how ours will be. I take it we have made a grave and inadvisable error?...

DarceysDad said...

No, Snadfrod, you have sown the seeds (sorry!) for a bumper crop of joy that will be really hard work to cultivate, but so worthwhile it is beyond words.

nilpferd said...

re Bulghur and sowing seeds, these famous lines from Shakespeare come to mind...

"Taboulé, or not Taboulé..."

“Find out the couscous of this effect,
Or rather say, the couscous of this defect,
For this effect defective comes by couscous.”

nilpferd said...

Not forgetting his famous recipe for rice..

But soft, what rice through yonder window boils?
It is the best, with two times as much water as rice.

(I paraphrased a bit near the end, for those of you not so familiar with Shakespearean english)

treefrogdemon said...

Name misspelling!

(Shuffles frantically through huge pile of paper fruitlessly awaiting attention on desk.)

Ah yes! My name is really Jocelyn. But someone who obviously doesn't think that's a name has spelled it.....Joshalind!

Gold star, that person.

Abahachi said...

My name doesn't get misspelled so much as changed; apparently lots of people have never heard of 'Neville', so I get a lot of 'Neil' and 'Nigel'.

nilpferd said...

Shakespeare had the same problem; he was actually preparing his treatise on Arborio rice which he planned to open with the line "O Risotto, Risotto, wherefore art thou Risotto?"
One misspelling and a quick, unintended paper shuffle later, and the world was left instead with a mediocre love story..

steenbeck said...

I made risotto last night for the first time! Followed shakespeare's recipe closely, but I used tofu eye of newt.

nilpferd said...

Excellent, Steenbeck.
May I suggest you read further, and try "a pilav a' both your houses" tomorrow evening..

For risotto I have to admit I resort to the admirable Moosewood variation, as I seldom have the Bard's works to hand in the kitchen..

Blimpy said...

Holy cow! I have a wee bit of a holiday, and come back to this???!!

Igorpferd said...

*Hearing Herr's "Holy cow, handwringing, hunch-backed Hippo appears at top of main entry steps, 'Spill castle*

(in Peter Lorre voice)
Master! You are back! I hope you are not.. angry..
I hope you like what we have done.. in your absence..
or do you.. *creepy little quiver of pleasure* have to PUNISH your bad servant?!!
*looks fawning*

Blimpy said...

Don't make me go get my Toto LP!

Igorpferd said...

*swoons*

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