Saturday, August 15, 2009

That Shakespeare bloke's rubbish.



Henry Fielding said "the slander of some is worth more than the praise of others"

The priceless collection of reviews from Cynical-C Blog by arrogant stoopidheads in today's Guardian guide is hilarious.

The blog it comes from is a jumble of music, film and book reviews so unless there's one hiding here somewhere already, I'd like to suggest we have our own collection of slag-offs that completely miss the point but just for music.

What do people think?

More : You Can't Please Everyone


Cheers, Caitlin

57 comments:

Blimpy said...

"if you want to get in the hit parade, you boys need to cheer up a bit. No one likes a moody-pants."

"Unknown Pleasures" Joy Division

nilpferd said...

"how can someone enjoy the horn when all through EVERY song this constant bass thumping, boom boo boo boom boom boo boom boo boom boom boom boo boo boom STUPID!"

"Kind of Blue" Miles Davis

He's right, you know- I used to like this album, now all I hear is BOOM BOOM BOO BOO BOMM.. aaarggghhh!! make it stop!!

Dangerpuss said...

"Guitar bands are finished"

- that bloke from Decca who declined to sigh the Beatles.

Dangerpuss said...

Typo alert -

that bloke from Decca probably DID sigh quite a bit once he saw what the Beatles did next - after he declined the SIGN them.

steenbeck said...

Sighing the beatles? Is that like burping the alphabet?

gremlinfc said...

Do you mean slag-offs we have done or from "critics" ? If it's from us normal people i'd love to take part but might offend some people...

Dangerpuss said...

I meant slag-offs from consumers as in the Guardian/Cynical-C collection of reviews lifted from Amazon. Just people who bought the big-rep book/film/album then said it was rubbish.

But there are also some very contrary reviews out there from people who do reviews for a living.

It's mainly about people who just don't see the value of acclaimed masterpieces/artists etc.

Cheers, Caitlin

TracyK said...

I almost prefer the brilliant reviews for clearly rubbish products. Some of the sarky Amazon reviews for, for example, the Jo Whiley autobiography, or Jordan's books are breath-taking in their insincerity.

Tim (Kalyr) said...

"If this band makes it, I suppose I will have to commit suicide" - Rolling Stone's Melissa Mills on Uriah Heep's first album.

goneforeign said...

Not musical, but similar and I suspect I might have mentioned this before, but just in case.
A bloke developed a process for copying documents, he had it down fairly tight and now needed a corporate partner to market it. He took it to Kodak and their response 'We don't think there's a market for something like that". He kept shopping and decided he'd call it Xerox.
And then there was another bloke who in the age of magnesium flashbulbs had come up with a device that emitted a bright flash of light and could be synchronised to a camera, he also went to Kodak for corporate partnership, [naturally?] They thanked
him but said 'No thanks', his name was Harold Edgereton, he'd invented the strobe flash that's dominated photography for the last half century.
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gremlinfc said...

These are not quite on task but they are very funny:

1. Seething Wells was reknowned for quite vitriolic (but usually hilarious) attacks on bands and one of his targets was "Los Campesinos". On his death Gareth out of LC wrote on their BloG:
"Though I scowled and said he was an over the hill idiot when he started slagging us a couple of years ago, I knew, deep down, a lot of it was true. I DID have shit hair and in hindsight my embracing of ‘twee’ was embarrassing, and something I dislike in others now. He hated our band, and I respected him all the more for it."

2. Tim Carson reviewing Ringo Starr album "Bad Boy" in 1991 in Rolling Stone:
"There's something disheartening about the spectacle of Starr and his erstwhile cohorts, over-stuffed with money and fame, lurching through the motions like this. Bad Boy is ersatz trash, but a record like Wings' London Town is trash with pretensions, which is worse. At least Ringo Starr has the grace to admit he really doesn't know why the hell he bothers. But he isn't even very likable anymore, and that truly is depressing. "
Sorry if I have totally missed the point...

gremlinfc said...

Of course that should be TOm Carson...

Catcher said...

Shit sandwich.

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