Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Classy Rawk Magazine is "proud" (actually, obligated) to announce ...

Ex KXDG frontman DarceysDad is to release a self-funded solo album under the moniker Daniel Parker. The album, entitled Three Or More Is A Congress, is a mix of cover versions and original compositions which DsD told CR were inspired by "some back-stabbing ingrates who shall remain nameless: I hope their tourbus drives off a levee!"

Classy Rawk intended to bring you a full interview with the artist, but at a strangely low-key launch party, our man's dictaphone was broken when a member of the venue staff spilt McThickShake onto it. This occurred when the spotty herbert concerned voiced the opinion that Nick Cave had beaten DsD to the name idea with his Bad Seeds, and the Manics had done that sleeve first too.

After agreeing to leave the venue, DsD gave this statement:
"I must apologise for the enthusiasm of my fans. I could see that the young man was about to blurt out his excitement at recognising me, and in such a public place I feared for the safety of the kids if a crush ensued when my presence became known. Unfortunately as I reached out to cover his mouth, the fan lurched forward, putting his face into my closed hand at quite high speed. Now where do you want me to sign? Bottom of each page?? Got a lot of family, huh? OK. To - what's your name again? 'To PC Knuckledragger, best wishes and rock on. DarceysDad' "

As Classy Rawk went to print, no copy of the album was available due to what DsD called "a slight cashflow misunderstanding at my pressing plant."

Rock 'n' [yawn] roll, huh!





17 comments:

Frogprincess said...

@ Darce and Toffee: Am gobsmacked by the creative outpourings of our regular 'Spillers this week. You guys rule. FP.

ToffeeBoy said...

@ fp

Thanks. too much time on our hands, I suspect. DarceysMum and ToffeeGirl will no doubt shortly be dropping hints about DIY requirements around the house!

Must go, that's Classy Rawk on the phone for me...

saneshane said...

Okay Okay, some bubblegum pop on its way to Daniel Parker... DsD and toffee get locked in a room with Ko Ko Mo (I Love You So) while they SING.
DarceysMum and ToffeeGirl have been warned and think it serves you right, they will not allow you access to you own record collections until the teenage rock star fantasies cease.

(only jealous because
Maurits Binger Film Institute
made the one pop snigle,
“On to be scared”
then disappeared with a whimper back to watching endless re-runs of Friends developing a marshmallow habit on the way....PANTS, I say)

Brilliant you two 'Classy Rawk' indeed.

DarceysDad said...

PHWOAR! Locked in a room with ASBOBrat and BingeDrinkerBrat?!?!?!

Forget the microphones, just bring me the BabyOil ...

Erm, sorry, still had my off-the-leash-tour-head on there for a second.

Actually, ToffeeBoy was spot on: am changing into my painting gear (mould-resistant emulsion, not watercolours) as soon as I shut this down!

:o(

Hark! The distant sound of DarceysMam's voice said...

... and those soffits still need silicon sealing; I'm fed up of mentioning the greenhouse door; there's ANOTHER broken tile on the kitchen floor; you haven't put the new coatrack up yet, in fact is it even varnished?

DarceysDad said...

Pssst! Manowar (going operatically OTT)& Verity (covering Lorraine Ellison), in case anyone was wondering about the tunes.

ToffeeBoy said...

And there was I thinking they were genuine Daniel Parker recordings...

goneforeign said...

DD: I WAS wondering about Nessun Dorma, who was that?

DsD said...

Hi gf, this version of Nessun Dorma was recorded by a skillful but otherwise dire macho metal band by the name of Manowar:

http://www.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&searchlink=MANOWAR&sql=11:f9fpxqw5ldse~T1

Frogprincess said...

And Darce has slowly morphed into Austin Powers. Japanese twins, Darce! Fook Mi and Fook Yu, so to speak. Grrrr baby, very grrrrr.

DsD said...

... which reminds me of the old joke Soviet sibling footballers ToffeeBoy may remember:

Ivan & Yuri (I & Yu to their mates), the Kikabollokov brothers.

nilpferd said...

Ko Ko Mo are really looking forward to it.. is this the right time to point out that they are actually boys..

ToffeeBoy said...

That's a detail nilpf - and with all the booze and the drugs, who's going to notice (or care!) anyway?

Mnemonic said...

Nilpferd, I laughed so hard that I forgot I was plugged in to the laptop with earphones and nearly yanked the whole caboodle off the desk. Not just keyboard damage anymore....

nilpferd said...

Sorry about that Mnem.. hope nothing serious occured.. you really should get bluetooth..

TonNL said...

Steven R. Kidd, A&R honcho from Sawmill Records asked me how the reactions were to my article on the Jon Tablain solo album, sadly I had to tell him that there were none, as the article was published quite invisible for the big public as a comment on "More Debut Albums"....

TonNL said...

...and spelling Jon Talbain's name wrong doesn't help either....