Wednesday, June 10, 2009

hump day questions

1) My ex sister-in-law had this idea about totem animals. A totem animal is an animal that you relate to or share characteristics with, or would be in another lifetime. What's yours?

2) Who would play you in the movie of your life? Ideally? realistically?

3) If you could ask one question (or two) of anyone in history who/what would it be? You'd be safe, by the way, so if it's a scary person they couldn't hurt you.

4) everybody has a novel/screenplay idea. What's yours? (You don't have to tell us if it would ruin your chances at being a best-selling author--maybe instead you could tell us a movie/book wish you could ask the author to write a sequel for)

5) What are some of the most important lessons you've learned (from teachers, parents, movies, your kids, music, whatever)


DaddyPig said...

One of the most important things I've learned in life, is to buy sets of pairs of socks that are either completely different, or identical. Those sets where each pair is subtly different, will waste hours of your life trying to match them up on dark winter mornings.

Back later when I've thought about it properly...

sourpus said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
sourpus said...

1) We used to play a game like this when I was teaching, to practice conditional forms: 'If this person was a _____, what sort of _____ would they be?'

Someone is on and they have to silently choose another person in the room to answer questions about. Everyone in the room must then ask the person who is on the above question (filling the gap appropriately each time) and then everyone has to guess the identity of the person silently chosen from the answers provided. Its a really interesting way to discover how other people see you.

For '...what sort of Animal would they be?', I was described (most memorably) as a Dolphin and a sea bird

2)The actor hasnt been invented who could take the job on...sorry!

3) My one question could go out to any of the ex-presidents of the united states prior to Reagan, or to Kissinger and it would be 'who had JFK and RFK murdered? Because they all know and because im so totally fed up with the official crap that history records. I hate it when the powerful take the p-ss like that. Especially the unelected - are you listening Henry??

4) I do have a novel, but im saving it. Sorry again. What?...yes, it is pretty good actually... though I do say it myself...

5) Important lesson from life: "If something works for you, dont ever give it away" (copyright, Bob Dylan)

SatanKidneyPie said...

1. Not sure about an animal that represents me, but I wouldn’t mind coming back as a kangaroo. Boing boing... (and I don’t mean that in the Baggies-sense)

2. Skippy.

3. Struggled to think of anything particularly witty/interesting for this one. Best I could come up with was asking Jesus “That’s all very interesting, and you certainly tell a good tale, but you’re speaking metaphorically, right?”

4. I had a friend at uni who swore blind that he had the idea for The Truman Show about 6 months before the film came out. He didn’t tell me until after the film had been released though... A couple of years ago I had an idea floating around my head for a screenplay based on the idea of a non-famous person living in a world in which everyone else was famous. Clearly the idea is still there, but it’s never got any further than a concept. Think I might give up on that one, it looks awfully shit when written down!

5. There’s a scene in Annie after she first arrives to live with Daddy Warbucks and they’ve had a bit of a song and dance, and someone asks our heroine: “So, Annie, what would you like to do first?”, and Annie replies: “The windows, then the floors: that way if I drip...” I think that line has resonated with me more than any other: to me it represents the importance of thinking through a course of action, planning carefully, and how your actions can have both negative and positive consequences. Whenever I start thinking about a new project, I often find myself thinking "the windows, then the floors..." I have a suspicion I’ve read more into that line than the scriptwriter ever intended...

CaroleBristol said...

1) Totem animal;

Cat, I think. But I love my doggies.

2) The film of me;

Ideally someone like Kate Winslett but more realistically Geraldine James.

3) I really would find it hard to limit myself to one person, but if I had to, I'd ask Constantine the Great what really happened, if anything, before the Battle of the Milvian Bridge. As a follow up, I'd ask him if he expected the Roman Empire to become uniformly Christian.

4) I always loved the idea of combining Indiana Jones with the Cthulhu Mythos of HP Lovecraft. I even wrote a treatment once where Indy ends up in Lovecraft's New England town of Innsmouth and falls in with a strange cult that have some weird old books, including the Necronomicon, which Indy is trying to steal so it can end up in his university library.

5) The most important lessons I have learnt in life are these; don't be afraid to make mistakes, tell the truth, be true to yourself and let people know you love them when you do (I don't just mean romantic love, I mean that too, but I mean all aspects of loving other people).

Blimpy said...

1. Otter

2. Vincent Gallo or Woody Allen

3. I'd ask Freud if he has a wee willy winkle

4. There's this town, right, and there's this family. They have one of those big trampolines you see in gardens a lot these days. Except theirs is POSSESSED BY THE DEVIL. The satanic trampoline causes all those who bounce on it to DIE AND GO TO HELL. After a couple of tragedies, the family sell the SATANIC trampoline cheap to another family, as they want rid of it. They of course, don't explain the tragic events behind the sale. The same thing happens again and again, until the whole town is NEARLY WIPED OUT.

Stephen King - I will sell you this idea for £5 - it's right up your street, you hack.

5. "Look after yourselves, and each other" - Frazier (!!!)

ejaydee said...

1. Hmm, based on my characteristics, it could be a cat, or a sloth, or a lion. I'd love it if the tiger wasn't such a coward though.
Sourpus, we call that a chinese portrait in France, no idea why though. I had to do one for friends' wedding recently.

2. Well we'd start with that kid, after that, I'll play myself, after all Mohammed Ali played himself in the movie of his life. After all, for a long tim I imagined that I was in my own Truman SHow (and that's years before the film came out), and assumed that all mirrors were see-through (I mean the ones where you can look from the other side) with various peopel of my acquaintance observing me. Maybe that means I was a paranoid megalomaniac.

3. Tough one, I could ask Robespierre (who got a bit excited during 'La Terreur') if he still believed in the revolution.
I see Jesus is covered, so how about: "Hey Mohammed, is that 72 virgins, or 27 grapes? It's hard to make out your handwriting, I assume that's your mistake and not Gabriel/Djibril" I'm sure that would change evvverything

4. I think I had one but I can't remember it now, I do remember that I had an idea for a videogame based around the gods of Greek mythology/ Poseidon was my favourite.

5. I'll get back to you on that. However, I do like to remind my mother of her favourite sayings, such as (I'll just give you the English versions) "practice makes perfect", or "the early bird catches the worm" and repeat them at the appropriate time (inappropriate for her).

treefrogdemon said...

Oh, this'll cheer me up - just failed to appoint a person to help me with all my work, after interviewing 5 (sigh).

1 I used to do this exercise in training: Think of your favourite animal(either an actual animal, or a whole species). Now write down 3 reasons why you like them.


What would you say if I told you you'd just described your ideal life partner?

Collapse in giggles of entire room; because nearly everyone has 'cuddly' 'always there for me' 'trusting' 'loving'...whereas I have:

* it's green
* it has little cold soft hands
* it lives on land and in the water.

More later.

steenbeck said...

Such great answers! It's slightly nervewracking posting these questions, surprisingly!

I'll respond more intelligently after I pick up Malcolm, but I love "Soft cold hands"

ANd I'd be an otter too!! But a river otter, specifically.

FP said...

Loving the questions, Lady S!
1) For Harry Potter fans, you're basically asking us what form our Patronus would take, right? Mine's a horse. An arab mare. With a beautiful small head like they have. I was born in the Chinese year of the horse so it matches.
2) (Loved Blimpy's answer to this one) Ideally - Angelina Jolie. Realistically Emma Thompson. With long hair.
3)I'd ask Hitler - Honestly - WARUM? Because in all the years I've spent looking at films (documentaries) on the subject and reading round it, I'm no nearer to understanding why and how it all happened. And probably never will be.
4) Too many to mention and all of them unwritten in my head. I suspect steenbeck has the same problem.
5) "Shit happens" but "It's a Wonderful Life"

gordonimmel said...

1. Totem animal would probably be a Rat......bear with me.....because I like to go about my own business being left alone, I'll do anything to avoid trouble but DON'T TRAP ME IN A CORNER..... I'm likely to turn around and bite you rather than roll over and die.

2. Well obviously my first thought was that it would have to be Brad Pitt - you know, blond hair, blue eyes, devestating looks, - but, Oh Dear, how could he possibly convey any sort of depth of character? So, it would have to be Dustin Hoffman because he could probably even do my childhood scenes 'in character' with minimum make up.

3. Interesting one and more difficult than I first thought. Apart from asking an awful lot of historical characters 'What the bl**dy hell did you do that for?' most things seem to have been answered by history. So, I'd want to know about the great mysteries of history. For example, asking Richard III if he really did kill the Princes in the Tower and where the bodies are buried (I assume that they will have to answer truthfully)? Or maybe ask John Wilkes Booth exactly what he did shout as he jumped onto the stage immediately after shooting Lincoln - was it 'Sic semper tyrannus' or 'the south will rise again' as has been variously reported.

4. I don't have a novel or screenplay in me. I know this because in the last few months when I've not had much to do I've thought that this is the perfect time to be writing that blockbuster novel and you know, I've just not had any good ideas at all. I do have ideas for games tho'. I've developed (purely for personal use) various board games over the years and if I could do a computer game it would be an attempted recreation of the various 'colonizations' of the British Isles from 2,000 years ago to 1000 years ago - Belgae, Briganates, Romans, Caledonians, Scotii, Irish, Angles, Jutes, Saxons, Danes, Norwegians etc.

5. Stuck on this one apart from a few times when I've thought 'well I'll never trust them again' but nothing specific.

Abahachi said...

1. For me, this is the Philip Pullman daemon question... I love otters and cats, and that certainly tells you something about my attraction to Mrs Abahachi (unpredictable, demanding...), but realistically it's probably a cart horse, specifically Boxer the cart horse from Animal farm, "I must try harder". Not my idea, but suggested by one Head of Department, and - unfortunately or not - it's exactly right.

2. Realistically, it'll be Rown Atkinson, to whom I've been compared since about the age of ten. Ideally, Alan Rickman.

3. Karl Marx: "So, tell me exactly how you envisage the relationship between base and superstructure, and while you're at it please define 'class', because your surviving writings are unhelpfully inconsistent or ambiguous".

4. I thought of the idea of a medieval or Tudor comedy long before I ever heard of Blackadder. I have a wonderful idea of a script that could be adapted to the X-Files or Buffy or something like that, based on the Borges short story 'The Zahir'. And one of these days I will find time to write up my eco-thriller about what happens when the bees start to evolve socially in response to man-made environmental pressures...

5. "Do try to lighten up occasionally."

Anonymous said...

1) Apart from my nom de blog... A dolphin sounds good, but it would have to be a slightly imperfect, clumsy dolphin, because real ones seem too perfect.

2) The young me would be Art Garfunkel in his prime, the middle-aged me would be Patrick Stewart (but see above re. imperfections).

3) I'd talk to Banting & Best, the Canadian scientists who discovered insulin in 1922. I'd be effusively grateful for their saving my life and thousands of others (but mostly mine) and ask then to tell me the story.

4) It will have to be a musical, so far I've one tune and no words, and no 'book' (maybe the Banting & Best story).

5) I'll be advising my son, daughter, niece & nephews not to be swayed by the romance of all those songs about carrying torches, waiting until someone comes back, longing from afar... I did far too much of that sort of thing when I was younger. Luckily it all turned out OK.

AliMunday said...

Phew, tough questions, Steenbeck.

1. Predictably, a cat. My husband says I was definitely a cat in a previous existence - and he's a Buddhist, so he should know.

2. Ideally - Fiona Shaw. She is amazing. Realistically - Stan Laurel. In drag.

3. I would ask William Morris how he managed to be so prolific and creative, and I would ask him to teach me some of his skills.

4. Something along the lines of 'The Diary of a Nobody', but based on the correspondence between me and a friend. I'm working on it. Think it might have to be published on the web though.

5. From life - don't take anything for granted, especially loved ones. Don't give up, you can turn things around by looking at them positively (usually works). From my parents - make do and mend; patience is a virtue; and "an academic is someone who can tell you the square root of a jam jar but can't get the lid off" (no offence to all you academics out there).

treefrogdemon said...

2 Well, Natascha McElhone, but she'd have to act really a lot. Maybe Kathy Burke would have an easier time.

3 To Bonnie Prince Charlie: why did you turn round and come back, you idiot? We could've been living in a Joan Aiken world today.

4 I've already written a novel, and I got an agent too, but she couldn't sell it.

5 My mother taught me that I am important, and that what I think and do matters. This meant that if I was reading, which I often was, I didn't have to do any housework. Ha!

snadfrod said...

1. I think maybe a pigeon - a homebird for sure, but show me the way somewhere once and I'll be able to do it backwards, in the dark, next month.

2. Ideally it would be me, but that isn't going to happen. Fantastically it would be a young Hugh Laurie. Realistically it'll be Daniel Bleedin' Radcliffe.

3. I'd either ask the librarian at Alexandria whether he thinks his fire safety plan is up to scratch.

4. I'm with gordon on this - I've just never been the sort to have good ideas for plots. I reckon if I had an idea good enough I could maybe do a novel, but it hasn't happened yet.

For about two years now I've been playing around with an idea for a play based on the so-called 'penitents' down Polish salt mines in the 1600s: they had to creep into caverns to burn off excess gas. If they survived for a year (fat chance) they were deemed to have been pardoned by God and set free. Thus far it is all mood and no plot. The old failings return.

5. "Whatever doesn't kill you only makes you stronger." I believe it was Terry Venables who taught me that. Not personally, I just heard him say it and it stuck.

ejaydee said...

Everybody knows "Whatever doesn't kill you only makes you stronger" is from Dragonball Z.

snadfrod said...

EJ - maybe, maybe. But El Tel is a man of diverse influences and surprising interests. A true Renaissance Man.

Also, for question 2, can I change to Paul Rudd? I love Paul Rudd.

ejaydee said...

Also, about 2. I'm thinking of going the I'm Not There route, so I'll also cast Wendell "Bunk" Pierce, Larry David, and Julianne Moore.I'm sure I could also get a small part for Denzel Washington.

AliMunday said...

Wasn't it Neitzsche (spelling?) Or some German chap?

barbryn said...

1. Like Abahachi, this made me think of Philip Pullman's daemons. I'm going to go for a lemur - sweet natured, chilled out, cuddly but a bit unusual.

2. I think that guy who's going to be the new Dr Who could do me quite well

3. As Jesus is taken, I think I'll go and talk to Shakespeare. I'd annoy the hell out of him by asking where he got his ideas from.

4. I have written a kind of juvenile wish-fulfilment novel about being in a great 90s indie band. It hasn't been published.

The opening three paragraphs of a new novel are open on my screen right now (other bits are scribbled away in various notebooks). It's set in Nuremberg. I'll let you know when it's in the bookshops.

5. Press down on the thick end of a clove of garlic to slip the skin off. How many hours of my life would have been wasted in peeling if a bloke called Stuart had never told me this?

ejaydee said...

barbryn, I would add that rubbing your fingers on stainless steel will get rid of the smell.

DarceysDad said...

1. Totem Animal: I could try to improve my rep by picking something vainglorious, but the truth of the matter is that I wear a silver snail on the chain around my neck; an item which was both gift and comment from my beloved wife.

2. Playing me in the film - ideally: Sam Elliott gets the gig, but his voice would have to come up at least an octave, and he wouldn't get a chance to show off those arms doing any confident Mr.Fixit stuff.

2. Realistically: Mark Benton [*small sad sigh*].

3. Ask one question: Sorry history fans, but mine's personal. In March 1994 I'd be asking my best friend if he'd had that slow puncture in the front tyre of his Metro fixed yet.

4. My Novel: Oh 'eck I've suppressed that memory for years! It was (to be) a comedy thriller about a hopeless softie [Don't tell me, let me guess - to be played by Mark Benton, right? *snigger* - Ed.] stumbling across a large illegal stash of money, and trying to get away with it. Think Scott Smith's A Simple Plan crossed with Alan Bleasdale's Scully. I got as far as 40% of a plot, half a dozen scene outlines I wanted to include, and three pages written. But then I read Christopher Brookmyre's A Big Boy Did It And Ran Away, immediately after which I broke my floppy disk and threw it in the bin. True dat.

5. Life Lesson: Too many people you meet are dishonest, and most of the time they will get away with it, which hurts. If you waste your life chasing them about their dishonesty, whether you succeed or not, it hurts worse. But dishonesty to yourself and your loved ones will come back and bite you, and it will hurt worst. Choose.

goneforeign said...

1. If I had to come back as an animal I wouldn't want to get eaten as the vast majority are, therefore I'd be limited to being like one of my dogs; a life of riley, the only demand being to bark occasionally when the neighbors cat jumps over the fence.

2. My movie? I think I'd write it with multiple actors all playing the same role from different perspectives,
There'd be James Mason for one persona, Michael Caine for another, I'd like to have John Cleese in as well and maybe Sebastian Cabot for me in my dotage. If the budget would stretch I'd have Stephen Fry as my brother and Judy Dench as my first wife and if we could involve Clair Bloom that would be nice.
3. One question: Perhaps I'd ask Shakespear how he was able to write all those plays with such diverse plots with such limited personal experience.

4. My screenplay: Well when I was a grad student at UCLA I needed a thesis film project, I came across a fabulous short story, 'The Shout' by Robert Graves so I wrote to him asking permission to use it for my thesis, he agreed. I wrote a screenplay which I anticipated would involve a technical student crew from UCLA, the cast would be drawn from students at RADA and the original music would be created and performed by students from Julliard. It would be shot along the Norfolk coast.
In addition I was working on a deal with Quicksilver Messenger Service to make a documentary, they'd already come up with the cash and then out of the blue I was offered the job of Director of Media for the largest university in California, a three way split, it was one of those 'forks in the road' from last week.
I chose the latter. About 3 years later I got a letter from Robert Graves asking how things were going because there had been other enquiries from another director, I signed a letter releasing it. A year later at Filmex, the LA film festival, I saw MY film, it had been made by a Polish director, Jerzy Skolimowsky and featured Alan Bates, Sussanah York, Tim Curry and John Hurt! What was fantastic was how differently he'd seen the story, I loved his version, it involved electronic music. And then a couple of years ago mI was rooting through some old VHS tapes and I discovered that I had a copy of it, I had no idea, I'd totally forgotten about it, it was wonderful to see it again after about 30 years.
Quicksilver broke up about 3 months after I decided not to do the documentary.
5. My granny who's been mentioned here recently always used to tell me 'You can do anything you set your mind to', back then it was just words, later I came to believe that it was true.
Sorry to be so long winded but I couldn't see how to shorten it.

Blimpy said...

5 (again). A props person told me years ago, as we were assembling a sofa for a shoot, "righty tighty" - which i have remembered ever since.

Blimpy said...

I think "lefty loosy" is the second part, but she never said that, and it doesn't rhyme as well as the first half...

Blimpy said...

maybe "lefty hefty" woould be better

Blimpy said...

i really need to go to sleep..

Blimpy said...

stupidly, i stayed up late to watch "insomnia" with al pacino, fell asleep in the 3rd act, woke up 10 minutes from the end, and ironically........

Chris said...

Wow! Some incredibly detailed and interesting responses. Again. OK, then...
1. I wonder if animals ask each other what type of human they would be...? ...I identify with those stoner turtles in Finding Nemo. Just floatin' around kinda aimlessly but *knowing stuff*.
2. A stoner turtle. It's as realistic as anyone funding a movie of my life.
3. I have thought about this a lot. I'm not sure you'd get anything comprehensible from the likes of Hitler or Pol Pot, so I'd like to ask Mountbatten if he really understood the probable effects of rushing through the partition of India. I see his daughter has tried to spread the blame but he did it all with indecent haste, contributing the death and suffering of millions.
4. Maybe that's my screenplay idea. Or has it been done?
5. The meek shall never, ever, ever inherit the earth. True dat, too.

Chris said...

Hey, Blimpy, you remember Duckman, don't you?

cauliflower said...

Good Qs Steenbeck!
I could only read as far as soft cold hands before losing control... and going off to think of my own answers... will read the rest tomorrow.

1 Totem animal
Probably a cat, as I know them and they know me. But a swimming or flying thing is more my style. I'd like it to be a kingfisher.

2 AKA actor
I don't know why this thought came to mind, as I used be told that I resembled Vanessa Redgrave, but I think Daniel Craig in drag might do it. I wish I could say Samantha Morton.

3 Question for anyone in history
I want to know what Freud and Klein said to each other - current research project would be made much easier if I could listen in. Other immediate responses involve family members, asking them, more or less, 'what the hell were you thinking?'

4 Screenplay
The complicated story of my first love's disappearing and returning, several times, with catastrophic results, over 15 years. I wrote it as a story to try to make sense of the experience, and it's both tragic and ridiculously funny in parts.

5 Lessons in life
As a teenager I was very influenced by pulp novel 'The Drifters' by James Mitchener containing "five rules for successful travel. Never eat in any restaurant called Mom’s. Never play poker with anyone called Doc. Get your laundry done at every opportunity. Never refuse sex. And order any dish containing wild rice." I have tried to stick to these rules while developing my own:
1. We only get one life, don't defer until tomorrow what you can do today.
2. Try everything twice, 'cos the first time might be too much of a shock.
3. Take holidays.

TonNL said...

1. Owl: sitting lazily, doing nothing and still looking quite intelligent.....

2. Ideally & realistically: Oliver Hardy

3. June 8th 1924: I would like to ask George Mallory & Andrew Irvine if they had reached the summit of Mount Everest. Until today it is not clear if they made it to the summit the day they disappeared, last seen very high up on the mountain, a couple of hundred meters from the summit. The body of Mallory wasn't found until 1999, no trace has been found of "Sandy" Irvine yet....

4. None... My talents lie in the non-fiction stuff: writing reviews (music, shows) and, something completely different: describing walks & bike routes

5. A little bit like DarceysDad: Be honest in what you say and do, dishonesty gets back to you....

Japanther said...

great thinking questions as always:

1. I'd like to be a wise old owl too. Or maybe a Meerkat because i'm a constant observer and analyser of everything around me (i'm usually completely and utterly wrong in my conclusions of course).

2. My Mum reckons I bear a certain resemblance to Toby McGuire (I don't), and with all the Spiderman experience, those balcony dangling and lamppost climbing(see EOTWQ a couple of weeks ago) scenes should be no problem for him.

3. I suppose I could still ask him as he's still alive, but i'd ask Neil Armstrong why he didn't stick with the acting career, especially after the success of the first film.....

4. I did write a short story not too long about a bloke who reads too much, especially metaphor-laden and symbolic stuff (Joyce etc) so that he begins to see symbolism in everything, from the colour of the tie to the angle of the light, but the thing is, he's always right. He eventually sees the symbolic sign of his own demise, so instead of waiting for the inevitable, he kills himself. If Disney want to offer the money for the rights for this surefire family blockbuster, i'll be happy to sell!

5. "Life moves pretty fast, if you don't stop and look around once in a while, you might miss it." - Ferris Bueller
"Never trust a bald barber, he has no respect for your hair" - Christian Slater in Kuffs
"Ridicule is nothing to be scared of" - Adam Ant

I don't ACTUALLY live my life by these (except the second one), but I aspire to.

ToffeeBoy said...

As always, I'm doing these 'blind' so apologies if they're not original answers. They are to me.

1. I'm sure I won't be the first to think of this one in terms of the daemons in Philip Pullman's Dark Materials books. And, I'm also sure that I won't be the first to say the single word, 'cat'. What's not to relate to in an animal that sleeps at least half the day - and when it's not sleeping, it's gazing into the corner of a room thinking deep thoughts. Not so sure about eating cat food and licking your own arse but, hey ... you can't have everything in life ...

2. Ideally: Brad Pitt - realistically: Matt Lucas.

3. Some of you may know that I'm seriously 'into' family history (I suppose I should have confessed to this as my 'slightly embarassing hobby' the other week). And apologies if this sounds a bit parochial compared to some of the inspirational responses that are no doubt written above, but I would go back to the 1840s, travel to Buckingham, look up the local Draper, Thomas Port and ask him who his parents were. He was my great, great grandfather.

4. I have a children's book or two scattered about in my magpie-like mind. I'm sure it would far too derivative of Philip Pullman for anyone's good but it's in there somewhere and it's got a family history bent to it. 'My biggest problem is that I just can't do convincing dialogue', mused ToffeeBoy. See what I mean ...

5. As my old mate Polonius once said to me: 'Neither a borrower nor a lender be'. Apart from that, I think the most important life lesson that I got from my parents (particularly my mum) wasn't anything specific - it was more a general lesson that the best way to get on in life is to be nice to people - and that, generally, people will be nice in return. It's worked for me for the best part of half a century and I don't intend to change now...

Great questions, steenbeck. I'm off to read the other answers now.

Abahachi said...

ToffeeBoy's family history answer to Q.3 has struck a chord; I think I'd probably stick with Marx, but as a fall-back possibility... I did some minimal research into my family history last autumn, just before my grandfather dies; I could easily trace back his family on both sides to the end of the eighteenth century through census records, since with only one of two exceptions they were all farm labourers (one cobbler) living in an area within ten miles' radius of King's Lynn (one ancestor got as far as Wisbeach for a couple of years) - EXCEPT that one family completely disappeared off the map for one census in the early 19th century, and reappear - in a different house, but the same area - ten years later. Was this simply a gap in the records? Were they hiding from the census takers, or were they somewhere else altogether? The really annoying thing is that they were Methodists, so no point in cross-checking with parish records. Even if it turns out to be a clerical error, I'd still like to know.

Japanther said...

I like all the answers to number 5.

SatanKidney - that's a good one, a very Japanese way of thinking. I was watching some kind of competitive marathon on telly a while back. The (female) Japanese runner accelerated pretty early and went ahead of the others. "ah...she's gone too early, she'll run out of steam by the end" I said to Mrs J. " No, no no" she said "she's Japanese, we always have everything calculated and worked out in advance with all the consequences accounted for". Sure enough, she won the marathon.

Barbryn - does that really work?? I'll definitely be trying it in the next couple of days.

sourpus said...

Some very nice answers here. Respect.

goneforeign, I watched the Skolimowsky version of The Shout on YouTube only a couple of days ago. I remember it as one of the most talked about films ever in our school yard and one of my best TV film watching memories. Nothing to do with the gamin but gorgeous Suzanna York obviously...seriously, a great film.

TonNL, DD; '...Be honest in what you say and do, dishonesty gets back to you....'

But only if you get caught, surely? ;)

On reflection, I decided I would like to see Zooey Deschanel play me. Partly coz then, I would want to watch it.

Therefore, I think something like an 'Im not there' (Todd Haynes) type biopic would work, where I get played by different actors, reflecting my episodic and chequered career. This could work as follows:

Boyhood - Garry Coleman or 'Bod'
Teenhood - Somewhere between Mike Myers and John Gordon Sinclair
University - I'd have to play myself in this part, just to confuse
Music Band years - Zooey Deschanel, she has the chops and knows how to do 'kooky'
Poland - i'd choose Jeremy Irons in Khafkaesque mode, but its not ironic enough, so maybe Benny Hill
Finland - Charles Chaplin (I couldnt speak a word of Finnish)
Russia - I was transformed in Russia and became Keanu Reeves just briefly
Hungary - Not sure about this one - maybe Woody Allen or Clint Eastwood, a la 'Gran Turino'

May1366 said...

1. Well, I like the idea of the goldfish with its combination of kaleidoscopic vision and 4-second memory, so having the ability to swim in a state of permanent surprise but we musos all know that Paul McCartney has that look sewn up. I'd love to be a bongo, just for the name. But I think my totem is the gecko. Not that I particularly climb up walls and hang from ceilings, but this ability makes the gecko nature's eavesdropper (often literally) so this suits the passive, sponge-like observer's role I tend towards.

2. Ideally - Naveen Andrew from the Buddha of Suburbia but probably in his doughier Lost shape. Realistically - Buddha.

3. Good one. I like ejaydee's question to Robespierre about whether he still believed in the Revolution, and would address something similar to Trotsky after he'd been instrumental in defeating the Kronstadt garrison: Are you quite sure you're doing this for the Revolution, and not just for the Party?
On a similar tip, but a few years earlier, I'd ask Rosa Luxemburg what she's doing after the meeting.

4. This is a bit like on Superstars when people couldn't compete in their own sports, but actually I think I can answer this because I'm at the other, shorter end of the creative writing spectrum from novels and screenplays, and this is a genuine idea I've messed around with in the past as a possible novel and screenplay. It's a Rare Groove Detective story, about an unsuccessful DJ-turned-private eye investigating funk and soul-related mysteries.

5. Don't take the brown acid.
Actually, this one follows on from my late late citing of Thelonious Monk providing my fork in the road in answer to goneforeign's questions. It's not a direct piece of advice but a quote from Sonny Criss, my pet alto saxophonist - "I am a jazz soloist, which is a full-time creative job" - which I've adapted to my particular trade and stuck to even when lured into the world of proper jobs.

sourpus said...

p.s. that's Woody Allen channelling Zelig, obviously.

tincanman said...

1. Totem animal
A puffin. Colorful and hardy.

2. Who would play me?
Hoyt Axton

3. Anyone in history:
John Lennon. Yoko?

4. Novel/screenplay
Take a stretch of highway between two towns and 'freeframe' it. Think of the sheer variety and sameness of the stories of each packet of people. Who are they, why are they there today, where do they go next, etc.

5. Lessons
A boss told me once, always take the high road. It was in context of dealing with a complaint and the customer was wrong, and I like it way better than 'the customer is always right' because they aren't so it is a patently untrue thing to say. Same as your spouse isn't always right or your boss or your kids and life isn't always fair, but if you take the high road - or at least strive to - when dealing with adversity, you'll be happier with yourself in the end.

And now to read what you lot put and then cringe over my own post.

barbryn said...

@ejaydee - thanks, didn't know that - but do your hands then smell of stainless steel

@Japanther - yep. I hope it improves your quality of life just that little bit.

@May - please, please, please write your Rare Groove Detective story, I love it already

debbym said...

Mole (short-sighted, never been to Ireland, like the idea of living in my own larder, and can identify strongly with the term mouldywarp)

Katherine Hepburn! (but without the cheekbones) Although for the current phase, Bette Midler might be more appropriate; they'd have to get her to stand on a box, though.

John Langdon Down. I'd like to ask him to change his name, or at least make sure he called it Langdon Down syndrome, or even JLD syndrome. I'm sick to the back teeth of all the societies and campaigns (at least here in Germany and NL) with slogans like Up&Down, or we're not feeling down. I realise this is not on a par with the likes of Jesus or Karl Marx, and I also realise it's not the kind of question you meant, steen, but it's been niggling away at me for years...

Once upon a time there was a Fairy Godmother and I've never got further than that, to be honest.

You can cope with whatever life throws your way and still come up smiling (on a good day, anyway). Taught to me by various events of recent years :-)

snadfrod said...

@barbryn/GF - I think the answer from Shakespeare would probably be "Everywhere!" The guy was lifting stuff left right and centre. Seneca, Italian 14th Century stuff, Holinshed's Chronicles.... You name it, he lifted it. This is not to say that he didn't totally transform all the sources into something greater than the sum of their parts, but the guy was one hell of a reader. Check this out:

Quite the bibliography.

@EJD - If you get to be The Bunk, can I be Prez? Plus, you may be onto a screenplay, there. Shall we just call it "The Argentineans"?

@May - another vote for the Rare Groove Detective Agency. He could solve the mystery of the funky frown and the riddle of the syncopated handclap...

steenbeck said...

What a lot of wonderful answers! I don't know where to start responding to it all. I'm really liking the animal answers, and I thought #5 was a but of a cop out, but I love all the answers. We could write a 'Spill Guide to a Good Life (or just getting through life) with all this wisdom.

And a RR publishing house/production company to produce all the story/movie ideas.

cauliflower said...

"Rare Groove Detective story, about an unsuccessful DJ-turned-private eye investigating funk and soul-related mysteries." sounds ideal for my friends little publishing venture...

DarceysDad said...

OK, and getting on a roll with the film version of Rare Groove Detective Agency: can I vote for ejaydee to play the hero, Mnemonic for his encyclopaedically well-read lawyer friend, treefrogdemon to play his always-got-a-personal-reminiscence mother, a never-quite-in-shot Blimpy as provider of all things technical, and can we assume from the title that his offices are in the flats above the Rare Groove Seventies Snack Bar (proprietor: frogprincess, catering manager May1366)? That, of course, would mean there'd be a need for a slightly scruffy landlord character ... tinny, you and me at table footy: first to 10 goals gets the part!

ejaydee said...

I like it, Dsd, but maybe snadfrod could play my agency director, or a rival/friend detective, he is after all a proper actor. Ooh I know, maybe snadfrod cou;d be the "Vinyl Eviscerator". YOu and tin could be the everpresent costumers at the bar, maybe as a kind of greek chorus, or always bantering with FP and May.

snadfrod said...

The Vinyl Eviscerator? I like that one. I carry with me a Stylus of d
Doom at all times and can rip you a new one at 33 1/3, 45 AND 78 RPM.

Shotgun I get the wokka-chikka guitar part on the soundtrack.

Steenbeck, do you reckon you could pass muster as a femme fatale? Maybe you could be the Fit Hot Bellhop from the Hip Hop Flop Shop?

DarceysDad said...

No, I've already got Snadfrod down for the baddy role-with-a-twist. It's May's book so he writes it, but I was going to suggest Snadfrod's skills make him ideal to have as an ever-returning nemesis, in the vein of Dr.Who's The Master, or Holmes' Moriarty.

DarceysDad said...

Gotta take Darce to ballet class ... back later.

snadfrod said...

For some reason I am seeing Sourpus and Shoey as a pair of ashen-faced heavies, flipping coins in the shadows.

Now who wants to be Peter Lorre?

goneforeign said...

Too many good and interesting responses to comment as I'd like to but I'll take Sourpus's tip and go and have a look at youtube, I'm amazed it's up there, thanks for the lead.

steenbeck said...

Snadfrod! You had me seriously considering if I could play a femme fatale. All questions of looks & age aside, I think I'd giggle.

Now, a Fit Hot Bellhop from the Hip Hop Flop Shop? I have no idea what that is, but I like the sound of it!! I'm in.

Actually, maybe FP can produce (and represent the film in Cannes) and I'll direct.

This is going to be huge, I can feel it!

tincanman said...

eJay, it's ok, I usually get cast as the Norm character from Cheers.

In year 3 in school our class did the Nativity play for Christmas concert, and they made me stand in a corner in an ill-fitting grey suit. No lines; I just stood there. Afterwards I heard some parents telling the teacher how well done and all the play was, but they were curious about the short pudgy guy in the corner.

''oh that,'' she said. ''That was round John Virgin.''

steenbeck said...

Did we mention the mysterious attache case that has a record player inside

snadfrod said...

Steen - I haven't a clue what it means either, but it sounded good. I think she may well be a tough broad from the hood, with a wheel of steel but a heart of gold. And legs til tuesday, too...

As for the attache case - isn't that what the mysterious 'S.P.I.L.L. Collective are trying to protect?

DarceysDad said...

Hahahahaha! Snadfrod, having met both sourpus and Shoegazer, let me say you are spot on with your casting!!!!!

ejaydee said...

Steenbeck, you might like this:

goneforeign said...

Sour: That was fabulous, thank you, that took me back 30 years and I totally loved it, everybody here should head over to youtube and find Skolimowsky - The Shout and watch 8 -10 minute episodes, a great film!
Christ, it all came back, I hadn't seen it for 20 odd years and there were so many vivid details. In the 70's I WAS the John Hurt character, I used to record everyday sounds in vivid close-up just like he did, I remember recording tapwater falling on an upsidedown tin bowl with the mic underneath, I had two Revox recorders and an oscilloscope just like him and I used regularly borrow a Moog synthesiser and a laser from the university's physics lab to play with. I'm amazed at all those details. It captured my love of rural Suffolk perfectly even though it was filmed in Devon.
I thought about the VHS that I mentioned and realised that I'd recorded it off late-night BBC on one of my visits many years ago, it's a PAL tape so I can't play it here. I just checked and they have the DVD for 7 quid, I'm ordering it.

goneforeign said...

May 1366.
If you're still reading this far down I'd like to thank you for your comments on my effort last week, you commented very late and it slid off the screen before I had a chance to see it, I've just been back there and read it.
I was so interested in your cricket comments, I'd love to spend an afternoon with you watching a game, there's so much I need to know. I'm not really into sports a lot but in later life I've become interested in cricket as a spectator sport.
Liverpool, I lived there for a couple of years in the early 50's. And Monk, I loved that story and the way he's affected your life, Thanks.

ToffeeBoy said...

@ blimpy - you said:

"i stayed up late to watch "insomnia" with al pacino"

Boy, you know some famous people - did he stay all night, or can't you say? Anyway, next time you see him could you invite him to an RR social - I'd love to meet him!

tincanman said...

@ toffee
he he

May1366 said...

gf - thanks for those comments. Yep, cricket is very much part of the package, growing up in a Sri Lankan family. Once you're embedded in the culture of the game, you can watch it on Teletext and it's got the power to fascinate; whereas you can sometimes go to a match and find entertainment in everything other than the cricket itself.

the rest of you - loving the ideas re. the Rare Groove Detective. Um, if you lot want to write the thing for me to pass off as my work, would that be cool? Actually, I think I've got my summer project sorted out - might not stretch to a novel but, if I knock something together, you'll read it here first. Or, obviously, somewhere else if I can find someone who wants to publish it! [and with that, May1366 retired to a cocoon of idea-protectionism and self-doubt, only emerging to post on a weekly music blog and answer lists of 5 personal questions, never mentioning the Rare Groove Detective again, and eventually forgetting that this was the answer to steenbeck's question he'd offered to deliver on, so that the regulars on the 'Spill logging on in the autumn of 2009 were bemused to see a thread,, entitled "Here it is, guys!", featuring nothing but a photograph of Naveen Andrew from Lost, dressed as a gecko, eavesdropping on a conversation between a Leon Trotsky lookalike and a man dressed as the Buddha, while holding a sign that read, "Don't take the brown acid."]

tincanman said...

May1367, maybe we'll see your m8 Naveen at the 2012 Olympics in London, assuming they still have roamin' Gecko wrestling in the Olympics.

steenbeck said...

May1366--I think your story idea was kidnapped by raggedy bunch of well-dressed people in trench coats and dark glasses. I think one of them may have been Alain Delon. They had music coming out of a slim suitcase, and they were eating sweets leftover from the seventies.

ejaydee said...

You know what, we haven't had your answers, Steenbeck!

steenbeck said...

Mwah ha ha ha.

Actually, I am thinking about it. Too much, probably.

And I meant to say I like the masks post. It reminded me of something I was going to post on the 'Spill a while back, and maybe still will some day. It was a craft for children, and it involved monsters and cases of wine, so it seemed particularly 'Spilltastic.

steenbeck said...

Shoot, damn this posting too soon. I meant to say that I'm humbled by the wisdom, humor and articulate-icity of everyone on here, makes it hard to answer.

Blimp said...

al Pacino is my roomy, yo!

5. "Be excellent to each other. Party on!"

Bill S Preston Esq. Ted Theodore Logan.

Mr. Shoe said...

Mr. Frod, you should know that the first rule of S.P.I.L.L. Collective is that you never talk about S.P.I.L.L. Collective. Watch it, or else me or Mr. Puss will have to pay you a visit.

snadfrod said...

Ah, Mr Puss and Mr Shoe. If you think you can scare me with your good cop, bad cop routine then you are sorely mistaken.

I mean, if you are going to be named after your weapons of choice, at least choose good weapons. Wait, why are you taking your sneaker off? What are you... where is... it won't....

*muffled terror*

steenbeck said...

This has nothing to do with this thread, but I need to say that my 6-yr-old son is now vacuuming my house, calling it a grab-nabbers. He invented it, but it seems to be a compelling get-your-child-to-help with the housework tool. And on a different note, yesterday Isaac rode his tricycle to Indonesia to pick some dandelions.

And back on topic...

Love Satankidneypie's Annie lesson

Love Gordonimmel's Rat justification (I saw a rat the other day, they're actually very sweet)

Daddypig's socks, Barbryn's garlic,

Sourpus's, Blimpys, Gordonnimmel's mystery-solving history question.

Goneforeign, I'D like to be one of your dogs. And your posts are NEVER too long winded.

Abahachi's horse,

TFD's Joan Aiken reference and I'd love to hear your novel suggestion.

Tincanman's Screenplay Idea. Oh yeah, and Cauliflower's & Ali's Screenplay/novel ideas, all simple, but potentially very moving.

Chris' suggestion that animals don't sit around thinking what kind of people they'd be. (Why the hell would they want to?)

Japanther's short story sounds amazing (could you email that to me?

Dsd's introduction of the personal into the historical. I thought OF COURSE!! there's so much mystery about both my mother and father's family. I always thought my last name (surname?) was Lebanese, but turns out it might be Polish. There's a joke in there somewhere.

DebbyM--that's exactly the kind of question I was looking for. Exactly.

And I liked Carole Bristol's Life Lessons.

And then I have to stop responding, because Malcolm has found a giant rusty film camera tripod and is going to impale his brother with it. Later...

May1366 said...

@ Carole Bristol - thanks for the Soul Bay Press link - I like what I see. Might even get round to ordering one of their books when I've shaken off my growing Roberto BolaƱo obsession. Anyhow, I've asked to join their mailing list.

goneforeign said...

Barbryn: For garlic, which we seem to use by the lb. daily, is a wooden mallett, you give each clove a slight whack and the skin falls off, it's a variation on squeezing the big end.

cauliflower said...

ahem, May1366, that was me, not Carole. They have some new titles coming out soon... stay tuned. And always on the look out for funk and soul-related mysteries. They'd be thrilled to hear from you... I'd say mention my name, but they don't know about my vegetable aka.

BalearicBeat said...

I've been away for a couple of days, so am a bit late on this one, but, whilst waiting for the next enthralling episode of Readers Recommend, her goes:

1) I would definitely be a dog. One of those that prick up their ears and jump around at the very promise of something exciting being about to happen, but essentially quite happen to mooch around being lagubrious, if there doesn't appear to be anything much else on offer.
2) Has to be somebody who gives good Manc, so John Simm or Paddy Considine. JS looks more like me, but PC is one of my favourite actors.
3)I know Jesus has already been taken (as it were), but that would be my choice too, just to get a few facts straight, before it all got a bit out of hand with the whole "son of god" thing.. Possibly one of Nick Griifin's ancestors, armed with a condom too.
4) I used to think I had a novel in me; then I became a parent. Now I think I've got a children's book in me. Neither of these notions have ever had any basis in reality.
5) i)It ain't what you do, it's the way that you do it.
ii) Life's what you make it - celebrate it.
iii) Like trousers, like mind.

There you go - there's a quiz there too. Who said the last quote?

See you over at Songs About Aardvaarks shortly... ;-)

DarceysDad said...

Oh goneforeign, that's the final straw!

This thread has repeatedly made me laugh out loud today, but your mis-spelling now has me with the indelible mental image of saneshane head-butting strings of garlic cloves.

I need RR to launch on time, just to stop my chortling from waking the girls.


DarceysDad said...

@ Balearic - 5ii is Mark Hollis, from one of the best albums ever made.

@ Steenbeck, have you had any chance for some quality time with your Talk Talk albums yet?

May1366 said...

Ah, cauliflower - what a wretched oversight on my part - my apologies and once again, but properly designated, thanks.

steenbeck said...

Yes, DsD--love it. So beautiful and melancholy. Can't talk now, must check RR, more later, but I'm feeling shy because I'm horrible at talking about music and you love it so much.

BB--glad to see a dog after all these cats. I can see it, from a very short acquaintance--I can see you as a dog--very enthusiastic and cheerful. (I'm a dog fan, that's a compliment.)

Where's RR?

Blimp said...

@babe - strummer, dude

DsD said...

Cheers sb. Nope, can't find RR anywhere yet, but last week's HAS closed.

cauliflower said...

No worried about designation, May, just gently nudging you towards my contacts - I'd be delighted to be able to facilitate, however peripherally, the publication of a book we all want to read.

snadfrod said...

Can I just point out that, as we all search for RR, I am actually awake and willingly at a computer for it for the first time in months. Obviously I'm actually 'working' but if it doesn't appear, you can blame me. Sorry.

P.S. You know that Elbow/Halle thing being trailed on the music blog? I'm going to that. AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!

snadfrod said...

Oh. Je m'excuse. There it is.

EJ... FP...

steenbeck said...

*rubs hands gleefully with a maniacal laugh and an evil aspect* "If RR is late this week and we all talk about it on this thread...all time ever comment number breaking"...incoherent mutters as she stumbles off to check RR.

BalearicBeat said...

@ Blimpy
Big BB points for spotting the Joe Strummer quote. Fix up, look sharp, as Dizzee Rascal's latterly said. As a renunciation of hippie-dom and a rejection of its perceived lazy complacent attitude, as seen through the eyes of punk and aimed at its trouser width, it's a winner for me.
@ steenbeck
I think that's me down to a tee. You'll notice it more as I go on, in that I tend to keep quiet for ages and then leap up going "look at this...look at this" when I get all worked up about something. Witness: the Phenomenal Handclap Band. I'm either ridiculously over-enthusiastic or somewhat subdued. I've also been quite overwhelmed by the depth of music knowledge on here and RR. I get too caught up in the next big thing sometimes that I forget to remember to listen to music that I've often discounted because of having a "Year Zero -don't like that" attitude in the past. RR and the 'Spill have been a revelation in that respect and i thank you for re-opening my eyes to so much that's good.

BalearicBeat said...

@ Blimpy
Big BB points for spotting the Joe Strummer quote. Fix up, look sharp, as Dizzee Rascal's latterly said. As a renunciation of hippie-dom and a rejection of its perceived lazy complacent attitude, as seen through the eyes of punk and aimed at its trouser width, it's a winner for me.
@ steenbeck
I think that's me down to a tee. You'll notice it more as I go on, in that I tend to keep quiet for ages and then leap up going "look at this...look at this" when I get all worked up about something. Witness: the Phenomenal Handclap Band. I'm either ridiculously over-enthusiastic or somewhat subdued. I've also been quite overwhelmed by the depth of music knowledge on here and RR. I get too caught up in the next big thing sometimes that I forget to remember to listen to music that I've often discounted because of having a "Year Zero -don't like that" attitude in the past. RR and the 'Spill have been a revelation in that respect and i thank you for re-opening my eyes to so much that's good.

BalearicBeat said...

Also a bit click-happy with the posting, it seems.

tincanman said...

@ BB
If you stop and squeeze the base of the mouse....

B-Mac said...

getting closer to the magic 100...isn't it?

May1366 said...

BalearicBeat: "I think that's me down to a tee. You'll notice it more as I go on, in that I tend to keep quiet for ages and then leap up going "look at this...look at this" when I get all worked up about something. Witness: the Phenomenal Handclap Band. I'm either ridiculously over-enthusiastic or somewhat subdued. I've also been quite overwhelmed by the depth of music knowledge on here and RR. I get too caught up in the next big thing sometimes that I forget to remember to listen to music that I've often discounted because of having a "Year Zero -don't like that" attitude in the past. RR and the 'Spill have been a revelation in that respect and i thank you for re-opening my eyes to so much that's good."

Does that make you a new dog that's learned old tricks?

sourpus said...

snad/DD, I dont mind the 'ashen-faced' and the 'shadowy', fair enough, but less of the 'heavies' thank you very much...

Ive been on a strict diet now for over a year and its working. Basically, just dont eat anything which might be losely termed 'Hungarian cuisine' or what passes for 'Chinese food' here, drink at least 10 gallons of water per day and run everywhere - even during sleep.

Works a treat im telling you.

steenbeck said...

Sorry, I meant to keep commenting on everybody's comments, but I've had a strange few days.

my answers, for anybody still listening...

1) a river otter. Not the coolest animal, but the one I most relate to. If I could pick, I suppose if there was something that can fly and swiim--a flying fish? A diving duck?

2) Ideally Snadfrod, because he's just the best in the business. BUt he's hard to get, and just too expensive. So maybe Cate BLanchett, or howver you spell her name. I know I know--you're all thinking "Get over yourself" but...she's about my age, and she's a very good actress, and don't people always get the big awards for playing ugly shlumpy "common" people?

3) I honestly don't know. Tough one, Steenbeck.

4) Oh, I have so many, just like FP...I'll tell you a children's story I's about these young ducks that live by a mulberry tree, and they eat the mulberries when they fall off on the ground or the water. And then some crows tell them that if they fly up and jump on the branches, they can eat far more mulberries when they all fall off the tree in a big shower. So they do it, and they get big stomach aches after gobbling all the berries. I'm not sure how to end it, though, because as it stands the story seems to extol laziness as a virtue. ANd I thought of a children's book about somebody getting a dog or a cat from an animal shelter, and you learn the back story--the animal has traveled all over the world and had amazing adventures...

my novel screenplays would take way to long to tell you, plus I plan to really write them some day...

5) I've learned some lessons from waitressing, that I've recently been reminded of...Don't judge anybody based on appearance. You can't ever ever predict how nice somebody will be or how well they'll tip you by how they're dressed. Also

Japanther said...

@Steenbeck - forgot to say that the Tom Waits interview was great and thanks again for Swordfishtrombone. Not as readily accessible as Rain Dogs and maybe the better for it. A deeper, slow burner perhaps, but another winner, thanks!

oh...and i'm afraid that to the detriment of the literary world, my short story disappeared when my last laptop died unexpectedly. But if I ever get around to re-writing it (which I may well do!) you'll be the first (and probably only) to read it!!

tincanman said...

@ steen

Blimpy said...


steenbeck said...

Japanther--I had that problem with an old computer! A thunderstorm wiped out an entire novel I had mostly written. Which was probably a good thing. If you do write it again, I'd like to read it. I've been thinking about that kind of thing a lot lately.


ejaydee said...

"ugly shlumpy "common" people"
As the one 'SPiller who's met you so far, I must rebuke this! Also what's slumpy? A combination of frumpy and... what?


cauliflower said...


steenbeck said...

Aw, thank you, Ejaydee. Probably the nicest 100th comment ever posted on the 'spill.

Cauliflower--yes! frumpy dalmations!!

cauliflower said...

steenbeck, I doubt very much that you are frumpy, schlumpy or humpty in any way. I have met ejaydee and trust his word.

I've been trying to think of a meaning for the current post number. All I can come up with is Psalm 103, "As far as the east is from the west" which seems like a transatlantic greeting, Helloooooooo!

tincanman said...

And with all these tales of lost masterpieces, have any of us reviewed our backup practices?

Rule is: One copy if it's important, one and one offsite if it's critical.

External drives and thumbdrives are cheap people.

goneforeign said...

Funny you should mention that, I woke up this morning wondering if there was any way to back up the 'Spill, I know it's very remote but I'd hate to see Google take a hit.
I'm looking to replace my LaCie 500MB which started sounding like a popcorn machine, they a have a reputation of being good but mine's the 3rd I've heard of going and my tech bloke says 'they're shit!'

tincanman said...

I had a LaCie that went pfft too. Now I just use two cheaper ones and back up twice.

TracyK said...

Wow, only just been able to read all this, very, very entertaining, aren't you all?

Anyway, just wanted to bag the part of the catastrophe waitress at FP's seventies diner: can I dress just like Chrissie Hynde in the Brass in Pocket video? Merci!

nilpferd said...

I'll add my answers, boring or not it's not really fair to sulk..
1. Royal Albatross. Likes fish, flies halfway around world, fanatically loyal to family members, extremely clumsy on land, etc.
2. Ideally- Tilda Swinton, in sort of a Cate Blanchett as Dylan sense. Realistically- Mike Myers as Mini-me.
3. Scheherazade- Would you mind telling me a story, I'm having trouble getting to sleep..
4. See number three.
5. I had some valuable basics from my parents, such as honesty, fairness, moral responsibility, unconditional hospitality. Sandra and Mara continue to remind me of the value of spontaneity and warmth.

steenbeck said...

Albatrosses (albatrossi?) ARE NOT BORING!

nilpferd said...

Great! Let me show you my petrified squid collection...

steenbeck said...

Oh, goody, petrified squid!! Wait...wait...don't start yet! Let me get a bowl of popcorn and a glass of wine...