Tuesday, January 20, 2009

The President And The Captain



I 'found this in my personal files' and was wondering if anyone would like to offer up a caption for it?

46 comments:

DarceysDad's Sick Alter Ego said...

Barack calls after rapidly departing car:

George? I SAY, GEORGE ... I just found this in the Oval Office: is it yours? Oh hang on, no there's something written here, if I can just see past the glue (I think it's glue).

[Licks thumb, rubs at sticky bit, repeats until biro becomes clear, then reads:]

"To Big Willy, come over here. Love MonicAAAAAACCCHHH" *GAG*

Blimpy said...

Game over. 1-0 to Darce!

Oh, and EWWWW! by the way...

DarceysDad said...

Sorry, don't know what happened there. Not like me at all.

I do, though, want to add my tiny personal wish to the man hereby known as POTUS:

Best of luck, sir. You have what may be the biggest job the world has inflicted on one person in over sixty years. I hope you're up to it; I hope your team look after you; and most of all, I hope you don't let us down.

Not Jamie Carragher said...

Not game over yet Blimpy. ToffeeBoy's lurking around the six yard line, and there's still three minutes on the clock.

:o(

G'night all.

Shoey said...

"....and finally, as I can't find a solution to our current economic crisis, I suggest we all get high & listen to this."

Blimpy said...

"Tonight, we gather to affirm the greatness of our nation - not because of the height of our skyscrapers, or the power of our military, or the size of our economy. Our pride is based on a very simple premise, summed up in a declaration made over three decades ago - FAST 'N BULBOUS! FAST 'N BULBOUS! BULBOUS ALSO TAPERED!"

Blimpy said...

Barack: "Donds for what Peelie said"

Chris said...

Excellent, chaps! Must remember to tell sonofwebcore about it.

Japanther said...

Not connected at all but I woke up to find this free download track "The Government" in my inbox this morning if anyone else is interested:

http://www.saulwilliams.com/

TonNL said...

"...enough of that political crap, let's play SleeveFace..."

Proudfoot said...

"the biggest job the world has inflicted on one person in over sixty years". How about Dalglish, Gullit, Robson, Souness, Roeder, Allardyce, Keegan, Kinnear? If there's any job that makes POTUS look like a doddle...

sourpus said...

"This man was also an important cultural icon of his day, with the power to inform millions of impressionable minds. I dont see no webbed fingers - do you?"

Obama's young speech writer fails to convince the cynics on the question of whether a fish-lipped illuminati of reptilian humanoids runs the planet.

Proudfoot said...

"'Trout Mask Replica shattered my skull, realigned my synapses, made me nervous, made me laugh, made me jump and jag with joy. It wasn't just the fusion I'd been waiting for: it was a whole new universe, a completely realized and previously unimaginable landscape of guitars splintering and spronging and slanging and even actually swinging in every direction, as far as the mind could see...while this beast voice straight out of one of Michael McClure's Ghost Tantras growled out a catarrh spew of images at once careeningly abstract and as basic and bawdy as the last 200 years of American Folklore...I stayed under the headphones and played Trout Mask straight through five times in a row that night. The next step of course was to turn the rest of the world on to this amazing thing I'd found, which perhaps came closer to a living, pulsating, slithering organism than any other record I'd ever heard"
Oh Dang! That was Lester Bangs, not Obama.

Proudfoot said...

Bemused Kids: "Sounds Good. What is it?"
Capt. Obama:"It's a Bush recording. We're out recording a Bush."
Kids: "Why would you wanna do that? He's a warmongering redneck idiot".
Capt. Obama: "Hey kids, you're right. We are suffering from the worstest of curses! We should do our own shit. Mister Zoot Horn Rollo! Hit that long lunar note,
and let it float...."

tincanman said...

So now you all know what webcore looks like.

saneshane said...

"I could have called this herculean task that I have, rather foolishly, set myself, "In Defence of Pop". Because, ladies and gentleman, my aim, over the course of the 4 years, is to convince those of you who need convincing that pop music needn’t be clichéd, sickly sweet, overly simplistic, or anodyne – in other words, that pop music doesn’t need to be pap music. If you don't agree, unlike toffeeboy, I HAVE THE RED BUTTON! we'll start with Trout Mask Re............."

Blimpy said...

"I appear to have played that at the wrong speed, never mind, now here's some Bogshed"

ShivSidecar said...

Together we shall booglarise America. Yes, we can!

ShivSidecar said...

In the spirit of the thing: Ella Guru is the closest Obama gets to a diamond.

[Sleep, now. - Ed.]

Proudfoot said...

I think Shiv wins. Although if Captain Obama ever used the word 'booglarise' he would be lynched for being too black.(if I knew what 'ironic' meant I would deploy it here) Here is a man who can never grow an Afro or (however, knowingly) quote lines from 'Shaft'. People would say 'I told you so', and that's the most annoying thing you can say. To anyone.
I have to admit that Beefheart/Barack thing is now welded together in my psyche. Thanks 'spillers. It's all crystal clear now.

May1366 said...

When I hear this record, I recall the dream of Franklin D Roosevelt as he wheeled his secret wheelchair across the Whitehouse lawn before being propped up to speak to the nation; the dream of Peter Stuyvesant, founding father of the great city of New York and those stupid long cigarettes that looked like they'd be good value for use in spliffs but hardly had any tobacco in them, so former President Clinton tells me; the dream of Martin Jol, when he took over from the bumbling misanthrope Jacques Santini, in the most cherished job known to man...and that is why I stand before you today to declare that I will be a President not for the red states of America, not for the blue states of America, not for Black America, nor White America - but for the Netherlands, because I figure I can kick back there, wig out to some pstchedelic rock, compare my watercolours with the Captain, and let Joe Biden and Nancy Pelosi worry about the shitstorm Bush has left behind. God bless you and God bless the Magic Band.

Blimpy said...

Sub quiz!

Who said the following, Beefheart or Obama?

"That's silly talk... Talk to my wife. She'll tell me I need to learn to just put my socks on the hamper."

Blimpy said...

Sub quiz part 2!

Again - Beefheart or Obama?

"I don’t like marches. I'll tell you why: war. It's very similar to disco."

Proudfoot said...

The first one sounds suspiciosly like Van Vliet, so I'm guessing it's actually Obama. The second one is worrying me. That's probably the good capt. Now was this Beefy or George W.?
"Those ravens with those tuft things under their beaks like a double chin are pretty hip."

ToffeeBoy said...

OK. I've just been re-reading the inaugural speech and I came across a few passages which had escaped my attention before and which, I think you'll agree, explain the background to the picture in full:

For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a blog of Jazz fans and lovers of Folk, Rockers and Indie kids - and fans of The Drive By Truckers. We are shaped by every genre and category, drawn from every end of this earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of the redesign of the Readers Recommend blog, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old flaming shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world wide web grows bigger, our common love of music shall reveal itself; and that the Spill must play its role in ushering in a new era of pop.

Now, there are some who question the scale of ToffeeBoy’s ambitions - who suggest that this blog cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what TB has already done; what one middle-aged man can achieve when foolhardiness is joined to poor judgement, and stupidity to downright cheesiness.

Just yesterday ToffeeBoy said to me – can we really say that Trout Mask Replica is pop music? To which I replied, “Yes, we can. Yes … we can.”

GarethI said...

So that's where George got the idea about man and fish co-existing peacefully from…

DarceysDad said...

Yet more razor-sharp verbiage [Oxymoron Alert! - Ed.], ToffeeBoy - I salute you.

Yunno, TB, I've got a customer with depots nationwide who seem to have the knack of making my away-from-home work synchronous with social opportunities to meet fellow RR/Spillers. If I can finally get them to give me the training contract for their big Stevenage warehouse, I'm gonna book an extra night. Because me & you are hit the pub early, armed with a wallet-full of beer tokens and my Dictaphone. [But why do you use your di...oh, I can't be bothered! - Ed.]

Blimpy said...

Donds fro whhat DsD said bout TB.

I must say, all the entries to this caption competition really have been superbly creative and intellectual.

tincanman said...

well except mine, as always. I do try, but so much of my cerebral energy is used up thinking of killer noms that ... oh wait - I'm thinking of someone else.

I actually logged in because I got thinking...we have the president, we got the captain...where's Tenille?

Oh yeah, she's Secetary of State.

Proudfoot said...

Great speech Toffe Obama. Who could believe your scriptwriter was only 27? Even an acid-fried paid-up member of a Californian cult in 1969 would not have classed Trout Mask Replica as pop music, so you have been rumbled.
I guess I'll allow Microdisney though. you've worn my resistance down...

Proudfoot said...

PS. Might make Stevenage. You did say pub didn't you?

Blimpy said...

hey DsD -have you checked out the new Secret Machines stuff? Any cop?

Blimpy said...

I had a listen to their Atomic Heels song, I likey. It'll be interesting to hear how they've changed, now they're free of the major label shackles.

TonNL said...

Hi Blimpy, new Secret Machines album is a great one IMHO,sometimes even some Mogwai influences can be heard, defintely worth checking!

Blimpy said...

Hey TonNL - thanks for the recommendation! Will deffo chase this one up!

Mnemonic said...

So will I; I'm a fan of the first two albums.

DarceysDad said...

And now that I've finally logged in this evening, I can tell you that I've heard nowt from it so far, but I will be too.

ToffeeBoy said...

DsD - Stevenage or indeed anywhere in Hertfordshire sounds good to me. I would be delighted to quaff a ginger beer or two in your company and, of course, that of any other 'Spillers who happen to be in the area...

DarceysDad said...

You're on. It's a long shot though.

One of the reasons I haven't got the Stevenage warehouse training already is that the depot managers are allowed to operate autonomously, so I have to effectively win four different contracts. I've got two, but the manager down there in Herts has used the same training provider for the last 15 years - it'll take some getting, particularly as my sales/closing skills are about as good as Stubbsy's left testicle!!!

Japanther said...

@Blimpy

This is not connected to anything at all, but....it seems that everytime I walk into a secondhand record shop these days i'm assaulted by a plethora of cheap as chips Ride albums and 12"'s...so, if I only ever buy one Ride album in my life, what should it be??

All information most gratefully appreciated

Blimpy said...

Hey Japanther!

Wow! I love being asked this sort of question!! (and I know there's more ride fans amongst us Spillers)

There's only really two prime Ride LPs to bother with for that full on hectic shoegaze overdrive vibe.

Nowhere, their first LP, which is essentially a compendium of all their early EPs. If you have this, you don't really need to get the EPs, although they do have lush sleeves and remind me of being a teenager.

Going Blank Again, their second, which has the stone cold classics Leave Them All Behind and Twisterella as the opening side.

Their 3rd wasn't too bad, but was foraying off into something else, and anything after that, don't bother.

I think it's time I did a Spill post about Ride, so that's what I'll do! And then we'll have a proper forum for the others to weigh in! And mp3s as a tasting menu.

ToffeeBoy said...

@ Japanther - how much did blimpy pay you to ask that question???

@ blimpy - Ride: pop or not-pop? You are the judge...

Blimpy said...

@TB -

1. Fifty spill points (they're now worth double vs. sterling in the current economic climate)

2. Ride had 6 top 40 entries, with their most pop number (an 8 minute epic - try that, Kings Of Leon!) getting to number 9 (which in those days was the indie equivalent of being number one for several years) - so I'd say POP! Undercover pop, my fave kind.

Japanther said...

Cheers Blimpy!

Info. duly noted on a Post-It and carefully folded into my wallet...gotta pop into Shinjuku in a moment to buy a birthday present so will have a quick rummage around to see what I can find....

Proudfoot said...

Weird. I came back to hear about silver machines, but, as regards Ride have often wondered what the £10-I-spend-on Ride should be. I like 'Let's Get Lost' (fairly atypical methinks) and that long one with thrashy guitar. Help!
If the debate rages on then I'd say 'Pop'! But Ride for me occupy 'link between indie charts (NME etc) and Creation records appropriation of said term to describe guitar records that might sell, who knows?'
Fair to say that Flowered Up, Curve and a few others are on my list of 'What-do-they-sound-like-now?' musicians. I really miss John Peel.

Leonardo Afonso said...

I cannot go back to your Bushland.