Saturday, September 20, 2008

Uxoriousness

Sorry about this. The simple fact is that I regard you lot as my nearest equivalent to mates I'd meet down the pub and have drunken arguments with about music/literature/politics/philosophy/life/etc. Which means, I'm afraid, that occasionally you get the drunken maudlin ramblings instead...

Mrs Abahachi has gone to stay with her mother for the weekend. It's okay, it's all pre-arranged to visit family, check on health of elderly relatives and visit offspring at university en route, rather than any sort of dramatic storming out, but I can't deny that it's a bit of a relief this time. As I think I mentioned at some point, she's in the process of setting up in business for the first time, dealing with bank managers, local planning authorities, unhelpful delivery companies and the like, and is finding it all incredibly stressful. My function in all of this appears to be a convenient person to shout or cry at, with occasional writing of cheques.

But I didn't come here to moan about my wife. Much. On the contrary, a bit of reflection, a couple of beers and some of last year's sloe gin seem to be leading me to a re-run of the end of When Harry Met Sally, a film I had successfully avoided before marriage and can now count on seeing at least twice a year. I love the way she watches the same few films again and again but skips all the bits she doesn't like, even though it also drives me up the wall (yes, I do indeed find myself trying to defend Richard Curtis' artistic vision). I love the way that, whenever we drive into a town, she makes sure all the car doors are locked, just in case we're ambushed by a bunch of feral urban teenagers. I love the way that she somehow persuades all four cats that they want to sleep on my side of the bed every night.



Inspired by Darcey's Dad's post earlier, I've been thinking about what our playlist might look like; similar issues as regards only loosely compatible musical tastes. I have continuing problems on the IT front, so can't post any music at the moment...

Captain and Tenille Love Will Keep Us Together. And not just because gremlinthingummy would hate it... Her era rather than mine - yup, I'm a toyboy - and a truly glorious bit of throwaway pop.

kd lang Constant Craving. Nothing to do with the lyrics, just the only album I owned when we first got together that she could bear to listen to.

Suzanne Vega Undertow. And this was one of hers, a gem amidst the Barbara Dixon. To be honest I'm not sure she's listened to the words very closely.

The Rembrandts I'll Be There For You. We first met when Friends was just arriving in the UK, and, annoying though this undoubtedly became, I would still maintain that it's a good, cheery song with a nice sentiment. And it was on the first mix tape I produced for her - otherwise an unmitigated disaster...

La Belle Epoque Black Is Black. One of her favourites, and I'll happily go for this sort of classy disco.

Gloria Gaynor I Will Survive. My disco number, largely for some specific connotations relating to an amateur production of a version of Sophocles' Ajax. One of my finest hours, I think; I may relate the anecdote some time. Alas, poor Ajax. For I have lost all my vim...

Joe Jackson It's Different For Girls. Another one for her; the woman has some taste, I'll grant you.

Buzzcocks Ever Fallen In Love.... Actually I might not be allowed this one; for me it sums up everything about the way we got together, but it went down like a lead balloon on the mix tape. Though not quite as badly as Me and Mrs Jones.

Shania Twain That Don't Impress Me Much. Yes, it really should be one of the soppy ones like You're Still The One, but this is so much more fun, and has the added bonus of annoying my stepson in an entertaining manner. Don't get me wrong, we have a really good relationship (these days, anyway), but it is rather hilarious the way he takes this song utterly personally. Ditto No Scrubs.

Charles Mingus Celia. Because I am going to insist on having at least one jazz track, and the more I listen to this the more it seems like a brilliant portrait of a marriage and of marriage in general: ups, downs, fast bits, slow bits, harmonies and dischords...

Okay, if someone will buy me another drink I'll shut up now.

14 comments:

treefrogdemon said...

See, you've said it right there, under Charles Mingus.

If I could buy you a drink I surely would!

nilpferd said...

no problem.. you sticking with beer, or does it have to be more of that.. um.. gin? (Only, they know me quite well in here...)
Look, can I get you a whisky instead? I think I saw a Bruichladdich hidden up the back somewhere..

Hang in there.. she needs you...

steenbeck said...

wonderful post, Abahachi, wish I could be there to share a drink and some stories with you.

DarceysDad said...

Abahachi, spot on. Wimmin, huh? Can't live without'em, can't win an argument wivvum! Talk to yer pals ... thatsh wha'wurreer for mate! An' if yer goin' the bar, I'll have a Wisniowka.

Cheers. *hic*

- - -

Seriously though, speaking as someone already running a business which is feeling the squeeze, hang in there. We all need someone to use as a pressure release valve.

DsD

Abahachi said...

My head hurts... I didn't say or do anything stupid last night, did I?

DarceysDad said...

Erm ....

[Internal debate rages in DsD's head about how best to answer that]

ToffeeBoy said...

Just reading it this morning, Aba, and not a dud word there. And I don't need to hear the playlist when I've got ToffeeGirl here to sing them all to me!

Part of the 'Spill initiation ceremony should be for everyone to do a drunken post - that's when the true spirit reveals itself. Nothing wrong with a bit of sentimentality in my book...

May1366 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
May1366 said...

Great post, Abahachi, and hope the week restores some harmony. Not wishing by any means to make light of any strife in your household, but I've got to say I'm very much taken by the idea of you playing No Scrubs to your stepson as an unsolicited piece of life coaching - inspired!

Frogprincess said...

[from the corner of the bar] "My round, you lot! What you havin? HOW many...????" Lovely post and that's a love letter to Mrs A. if she did but know it. I hope she reads it when she gets back. Sweet photo too. Wonderful list of songs - I like all then ones I know. Stick on in there, peeps and toi toi toi for the new business.

Anonymous said...

Dear Abahachi,
Next time you and your Dear Lady are over our way, I am DEFINITELY up for buying you a drink (does it have to be sloe gin, though?)
Cheers,
debbym

Abahachi said...

Many thanks to you all. Just to clarify, in case I'm ever in a position to take you up on those drinks, the sloe gin was just because there wasn't anything else in the house and I couldn't be bothered to go to the shed at the bottom of the garden to get more beer. Sloe gin is actually a way of using nature's bounty to turn extremely cheap gin into something rather palatable for cold winter evenings - but I certainly wouldn't drink any commercial version. Single malt will do me just fine...

Proudfoot said...

Nice post abahachi. We share at least one track (Joe Jackson). I think I'm due a drunken post but I'm definitely going to make the effort to get down the shed. Sloe gin is evil.

Shoegazer said...

Wouldn't be a proper night down the pub without some bad jokes now would it:

A shop has opened in London, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the shop operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

"That's nice"' she thinks, "but I want more."

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

'Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

But there's more:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer and football.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.