Wednesday, January 20, 2010

A. A fish

For a re-invigorating twist on Questions of the Week, lets try Answers of the Week. Instead of questions for you to answer, here are your answers. Now what were you asked?

1. Only if no one is watching.
2. That's the elephant in the room, really.
3. Like it? Pfft, I couldn't get past the first chapter.
4. But that's my second favorite organ.
5. I think they'll lose in the World Cup semi final.


May1366 said...

1. Does your television set weep ever?

2. Why do you think it feels crowded in your living room?

3. Did you like attempting to run through the massed ranks of Britain's Hell's Angels and their motorbikes in two minutes flat?

4. That Wurlitzer's sounding a bit off-key, isn't it?

5. What do you think will happen to the teams in the World Cup 3rd place play-off?

tincanman said...

a good start May. he he

DarceysDad said...

1. Do trees in empty forests practice falling silently?

DarceysDad said...

3. I've been told about this new cream that'll restore the follicles that went raw & cracked with the recent exposure to all of that cold Yorkshire weather recently (my own fault - I never wore a hat). It's very expensive, and I'm told you have to use it repeatedly for it to work, so before I buy, I wondered if anyone here ha tried it. Did you like it?

DarceysDad said...

5. Should I buy shares in UK travel agents offering expensive packages to South Africa this July?

DarceysDad said...

2. Julia Donaldson's first draft of A Squash And A Squeeze was rejected: the publishers said there was one animal too many, making the story too claustrophobic and scary for kids. Why?

barbryn said...

May's answers will be impossible to beat.

1. Do you ever pull-back your receding hair and contemplate what you'll look like when bald?

2. How come those cats upstairs make so much noise?

3. Did you like The Rainbow by D.H.Lawrence? (I never give up on books - this is the sole exception)

4. Can't quite work out the context or syntax, but this one probably relates to Inspiral Carpets.

5. What will happen to the team that beats England in the World Cup quarter final?

DarceysDad said...

4. The Observer, a heart, and a Hammond B3 all failed to make the final. Simon Cowell didn't seem to give a shit, but what did Dannii Minogue say to all of them to make them feel less rejected?

May1366 said...

I dunno, barbryn - I thought my answer to No.3 was artfully contrived, but hats off (metaphorically and, um, metaphorically) to DsD on that score.

barbryn said...

Yep, I'm applauding that, having finally got the joke on the third reading. Liking your no.2 too, DsD!

Abahachi said...

Simply can't compete.

debbym said...

I'm embarrassed to post this after May's dazzling start, but it's either waste time on here or get on with some housework...

1. Do you have a certain affinity with a favourite cartoon character?

2. What's your most impractical purchase ever?

3. How did you get on with 'At Swim-Two-Birds'?

4. Would you ever lend Woody Allen your brain?

5. But suppose they're relying on John Terry for the penalty shootout?

Shoey said...

Project Runway/American Idol
Why is there a big turd on the carpet?
Gravity's Rainbow
Private Eye

saneshane said...

1 'spill questions when supposedly working?

saneshane said...


woulda got away with it.. if it wasn't for that huge grey thing with a trunk spying on me.

CaroleBristol said...

1. Do you ever pick your nose?
2. What is your opinion of furniture made from pachyderms?.
3. Have you ever read Finnegans Wake?.
4. Farfisa?.
5. How do you think England will do in South Africa this Summer?.

sourpus said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
sourpus said...

Mostly saucy/corny responses from me, so i'll cover myself by starting with this:

1. Do you have clever answers for questions?

2. That's a nice abstract expressionist piece you just painted. Tell me though, what does this big grey blob surrounded by that cube represent?

3. Hey, remember that time when you were walking through the park and you noticed that naked women on the grass, with that big fat guy lying on top of her, and she was calling out to you saying 'hey, if you help me to get this big fat guy off of me, I will make love to you instead'? I imagine you enjoyed that one? Did you make love to her in the end?

4. By the way Pammy, congratulations on the new hobby! How are you enjoying playing the Hammond B3?

5. Who will the presiding officials select to progress into the World Cup final match this year?

(oh sorry, I thought you said "choose")

AliMunday said...

1. Do you ever eat mini-cheddars sandwiched together with tomato ketchup?

2. Do you agree that a pet is for life, not just for Christmas?

3.Have you read "Dune"?

4.Would you like Widor's toccata to be played at your funeral?

5. What do you think of the octogenarian all-girl football team?

Makinavaja said...

Nice one Tin. Good idea!

1. Do you ever leaf through your wife's women's magazines?
2.The answer to number one if Maki jr reads this!
3. So many. 100 years of solitude. Re the Hells Angels answer above (brilliant, May!), when living in Exeter many years ago a mate and I came across the Devon Satan's Slaves Chapter having a quiet (?) drink outside a place called The Waterfront one August Bank Holiday lunchtime. My mate, who often comes out with the witticism before weighing up the pros and cons, came out with "Uh, Satan's given you the day off then, has he?" We didn't get past the first paragraph to continue the metaphor!
5.Didn't know Canada had qualified...

severin said...

1) Are you an exhibitionist?

3) Does the fact that you keep skipping to Molly Bloom's soliloquy imply that you don't really like the rest of the book?

4) Is that woman playing a filing system?

TonNL said...

3. How about the Snetzler from 1777 at the Rotherham Minster?

TonNL said...

3. 'SPILL EXCLUSIVE: the 'SPILL interviews God!
Dear God, what did you think about the Bible?

TonNL said...

5. TonNL is wildly optimistic about Switzerland's chances at this years World Cup!

ps. I know that this is not a question....

TonNL said...

2. It is grey, it is big and it is in the room?

Japanther said...

great idea Tin, wish I could think of some wittier answers..

1. do you ever listen to Def Leppard?
2. what's that thing that no-ones talking about but everyone can see.
3. The Second Sex - i've tried 3 times now, but have just found out that the original translation was done by a scientist or something which is why it's as dry as a bone. Apparently a new version translated by proper feminists has just been released, yay!
4. will you renew your subscription to Private Eye?
5. how will the Blue Samurai Team Japan get on this summer? - - no chance!

Mark68 said...

Couldn't resist this - good work, TCM.

1. Do you ever stuff your face with a whole box of Krispy Kremes?

2. Who's been eating my doughnuts?

3. Did you like the self-help book 'How to Finish What You've Started'?

4. Er...

5. How will England avoid losing the World Cup Final?