Tuesday, September 15, 2009

EOTWQ: Tired and Ill Special


I'm off work today, with a horrible cold that kept me up all night. I tried to catch up on my sleep today, until the cat decided the best place to curl up would be right on my head. 
So, I'm lethargic, and have actually turned to computer games to pass the time, I'm currently playing Lego Batman on the PS2. So, 
Question 1: What's your favourite ever computer/video game or game character? I love tetris as much as the next person, but Head and Heels (above) will always have a special place in my heart. Games don't seem to be as much fun as they used to be, but maybe that's cos I'm under the weather, so Q2: Any good tips about dealing with a cold or lurgee? What do you do to comfort yourself when ill? Comfort food? I had some Heinz Oxtail soup, and that helped. 
Recently I bought a pair of parrot candlesticks for the mantelpiece in my lounge, turns out they're too wide. I am seriously considering getting the mantelpiece made larger to accommodate them. So, Q3 - what's been your most impractical purchase? Possibly one that got you in deep trouble with yr other half? 
I totally couldn't sleep last night, and even my favoured trick of listening to a really dull podcast to get me off to sleep didn't work (it was a geeky science type podcast incase you're wondering, called The Skeptics Guide To The Universe) - Q4 - What do you do to get to sleep? 
So, for this EOTWQ not to be too much of a bummer, Q5 - Tell us a joke?

Sick Muse by Metric

40 comments:

nilpferd said...

1. I hardly ever play video games, but I do love it when Mara asks for help with Samorost (thanks to Steen for recommending it). Looking forward to helping her with the new one, Machinarium.
2. Whenever we feel seedy, we go down to our local Vietnamese restaurant for a ginger tea and a steaming bowl of noodle soup, they make fresh vegetable stock every day and it seems to work wonders. The herbal remedy Umckaloabo has also proved successful in rapidly clearing up any colds we do seem to catch.
3. Has to be the ice-cream maker- the bowl is 5mm too large for our freezer compartment. I have to get a neighbour to pre-freeze it whenever we need it.
4. We haven't had insomnia problems ever since becoming parents. For me it's more trying to stay awake for as long as possible. We seldom make it to midnight these days.
5. Horse goes into a bar. Bartender asks, why the long face?

Get well soon, Blimpy.

tincanman said...

First, apologies to sourpus. I tried a couple times to do your questions, but just wasn't able to get into the right head space.

1: favourite video game
Asteroids. They put one in my local bar soon after I turned drinking age (er, well or could pass for it) and I may have spent more on it than on beer.

2: Dealing with a cold
Cold beer and a fag cuts through any throat phlegm
Comfort food?
No, never never never. The shock to your system is too great. MORE junk food, not less. Give your body more of what it likes and is used to.

3. Most impractical purchase?
Shares in a non-existent record label

4. Get to sleep?
Try to fart quietly so Mrs Tin doesn't hear.
If that doesn't work, toss and turn, go to the toilet for a pee, come back and toss and turn for awhile, say fuck it and come downstairs and plug in the headphones and kettle.

5 - Tell us a joke?
I thought of this routine today driving along with my son to get new socks. It's Batman and Robin, Commissioner Gordon calls and it's never just to say hi is it?
BATMAN: Come on Robin, to the Batmobile!!!!!
ROBIN: Can I bring my DS?
(I actually managed to do a passable Batman voice, but for Robin I had to do a small boy voice)
BATMAN: Robin!!!! That was Commissioner Gordon!!!! Someone's stolen the world's biggest bomb and has threatend world comination!!!
ROBIN: Oh ok. Can I just save my game first?
..and on I went for awhile
Finally they're rushing out the bat cave and ....
MRS BATMAN: Hon, can you stop for milk and fags on the way home?

(The fact that I was buying new socks is irrelevant by the way. I'm just practicing for when I sign up for Twatter.)

Abahachi said...

1.Don't do this sort of this as I tend to get addicted, at least to certain sorts of games; once managed to waste six months when I was supposed to be writing a book but did complete Final Fantasy VII. This time I built a log shed, which is rather more useful.

2.Either whiskey or brandy mac (half and half spirit and ginger wine), or hot honey and lemon (squeeze fresh lemon into mud, add boiling water, honey to taste and a couple of soluble aspirin). And chocolate, of course. For hangovers, prawn mayonnaise sandwiches and ginger beer.

3.Don't really do impractical - that's Mrs Abahachi - but I suppose there's room for debate about my new brewing boiler; having got sick of the cheap ones conking out after a couple of brews, I've invested in a decent German model. Now, I would say that this is eminently practical, as it enables me to produce beer to my own specification for roughly £1 per pint (capital depreciation included), but I haven't actually told Mrs Abahachi that I've bought this.

4.Work through dance steps in my sleep - Mrs Abahachi and I are indeed learning ballroom dancing, and there's nothing like thinking through the Argentine tango to get you off to sleep - and it helps me get the steps right.

5.Why do Marxists always use tea bags? Because proper tea is theft.

treefrogdemon said...

Sorry you're poorly, big B!

1 The snake in Gemstone Hunter, developed by my daughter and son-in-law (plug!)

http://www.longanimalsgames.com/playgame.php?game=Gemstone Hunter

2 Double Lagavulin. Or, you know, treble and above should you be so lucky as to have your own bottle. Then go to bed with an Arthur Ransome. (Possible Winter Holiday)

3 I just bought an enamel coffee pot which is very very beautiful but not big enough, so I'll have to keep using the old one. I drink a lot of coffee.

4 I make up stories starring myself in amazing and perilous adventures...then I tell them to myself over and over again in my head. Each story is several nights' worth. (I should add that I sleep very badly!)

5 I can never remember jokes...but I've heard this one by Townes van Zandt several times on the iPod lately. A man goes into a bar and orders 3 slugs of gin in separate glasses. He drinks them one at a time, then leaves. A week or so later he comes back and orders the same thing. The bartender is curious, so he asks him why the three separate drinks. The man says:

"Well, I've a brother in Australia, so one drink's for him; and another in Canada, so there's one for him; and the third is for me." He drinks up his 3 gins and then leaves.

The bartender doesn't see the man for quite a while. Then he appears again and the bartender sets up 3 glasses, but the man says: "No, just the two this time, please."

The bartender is worried and says: "I'm sorry to hear that - has something happened to one of your brothers?" and the man replies: "No, they're fine - I gave up drinking."

treefrogdemon said...

PS I just scored half a million on Gemstone Hunter. Challenge!

sane said...

1 - Oddworld: Abe's Oddysee
http://www.oddworld.com/games/ow_abeodd.shtml

(20 people ended up at my house from the pub, trying to get passed one bit of this f***er) good days, got an x-box to play Munch the follow up - never quite the same... nutty life I lead then.

2 - the bee mans honey / lemon and a slug of something good to knock me out..

3 - her impractical purchase: the new gaff...
mine: any technology - the x-box being one - I only wanted it to play that game. think I might be a luddite.

4 - I sleep better now I've got a kid, but it's still crap sleep - so I just design and sing in my head.

5 - eskimo goes on holiday to Wales.. his car breaks down..
mechanic goes "you've blown a seal"

eskimo goes "so what, you fuck sheep"

GarethI said...

1. I'm with Tinny on Asteroids. There was a videogames exhibition at the Barbican a few years ago. The first room contained such joys as Pong – projected on to a wall so the game field was about 2m x 1m – and Asteroids. All had polite notices asking patrons to spend five minutes only on each game. When the bloke behind me starting tapping his foot I realised that I'd been smashing asteroids for 25 minutes.
2. Curries. The spice opens your sinuses and helps you to breathe and raises your body temperature, possibly killing the bug a bit quicker.
3. I bought a white dress shirt for the Christmas party last year (it's always a black-tie affair), just in case I decided against the black shirt I'd washed, ironed and hung carefully. I do spend too much time and money watching football, though.
4. No matter how bad the day, Spiegel im Spiegel by Arvo Pärt always soothes my nerves to the point I can fall asleep very easily.
5. A prison van was in collision with a cement mixer in Holloway this afternoon. Police are looking for six hardened criminals.

Makinavaja said...

1. Donkey Kong. Only one I ever even half worked out how to play. Still resent Julian Cope's reference in "safesurfer" although I love the song.
2. The "tiger milk" or "leche de tigre" left over after making ceviche (lemon/lime juice with a little hot pepper and the fishy goodness) cures absolutely anything. It's especially good for hangovers, too.
3. A foot spa. Never used it and never will.
4. I have trouble sleeping and wish I knew the answer to this one!
5. A guy decides to leave his troubles behind him and joins a monastery. Upon arrival the Abbot greets him and says "Welcome, my son. As you know we are Trappists and take a vow of silence. Every year you will have an interview with me in which you can use three words".

At the end of the first year the Abbot summons him and asks:
"My son, do you have anything to say?". The novice replies, "Rooms very cold."

The second year passes and the Abbot asks the same question to which the novice replies, "Food very bad."

At the end of the third year the Abbot asks the same question and the novice replies, "I leave tomorrow." The Abbot sighs and says, "I'm not surprised. You've done nothing but complain since you got here!"

ToffeeBoy said...

1. The original Sonic on the Sega Mega Drive is simply the best. Spyro on PS2 is also fab. I'm a tetri-holic so please don't mention that devil's spawn of a game.

2. My dad always used to say that if you take the right medicine, drink plenty of fluids and sleep it off, a cold usually lasts about a week. If you do nothing about it, it'll last about seven days.

3. Sorry - I'm too sensible when it comes to money - I never indulge in reckless expenditure.

4. I listen to music on my iPod. My current favourite is Azure Ray's eponymously titled debut album which works every time. Ironically, the first track is called Sleep and features the refrain, 'I can't sleep'. Ho hum...

5. Two muffins in an oven. The first one says, "it's hot in here". The second one says "Arrghh! A talking muffin!!!!".

glasshalfempty said...

Hope you feel well as soon as you want to...
1. Any fast and furious old skool shoot-em-up, like Defender or Star Wars
2. Chinese honey and lemon tea
3. All singing all dancing food processor - it always seemed easier to just use an old fashioned blender or mixer
4. Keep your eyes open, then those stress worms can't gnaw away so easily
5. Man and woman who are strangers to each other find themselves unexpectedly allocated to share same railway sleeping compartment. Each waits outside as other changes into PJs. Then it's cold, so man suggests he go to get them both extra blankets from steward. Woman says 'Why don't we just pretend we are man and wife?'. Man says 'OK, go and get your own bloody blanket'

Shoegazer said...

1. Back in the day, it was Tempest. Shoeteen #2 is a Sims junkie & currently has an entire community of werewolves & vampires hogging resources on my pc. Quite like Burnout, as it's quick to play. If you crash your car you can make it explode & take out your competitors.
2. Hardly ever get colds thanks to the FLA clime. If that's too impractical, get one of those hot lemony night time cold remedies that say don't mix with alchohol, & prepare with half & half boiling water & whisky. That'll take care of #4 too. If you wake up you'll feel better.
3. Beer & Cigars.
5.
Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A: No idea.

Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes & no legs?
A: Still no idea.

Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A: Fsh (works better if you say it out loud).

AliMunday said...

Poor Blimpy. Hope you're feeling better now.
1. Don't play video games, sorry. Can't see the attraction.
2. Ginger's good, also rum. An off-duty doctor told me the best thing you can have is hot milk with whisky and honey, then take yourself off to bed. Home made chicken soup is good, too (unless you're a veggie).
3. Five trays of violas for a tenner. Still haven't had time to plant them out, but they're doing well.
4. My main problem is "what can I do to stay awake??" Get yourself a dull job with lots of commuting and a small child with lots of energy plus a partner who is allergic to housework / gardening and all forms of general maintenance. Works for me.
5. Q: What do you get if you cross a telescope with your worst teacher? A: A horoscope (thanks to my son)(7).

tincanman said...

Makinavaja's joke reminded me of the one about three would-be priests facing the bishop for their final test.
The bishop has them drop their pants and undies and ties a small bell to each applicant's willie, then he shows each in turn a picture of a nude woman to see if they have unpriestly-like urges.
When the bishop shows the picture to the first two priests, her hhears the sound of tinkle tinkle tinkle almost immediately and like a holy Simon Cowell, send sthem packing.
Third would-be priest? No reaction.
''Well done my son. You have passed. You may join the others in the shower.''
TINKLE TINKLE TINKLE

May1366 said...

I'm another one having to apologise to sourpus for not quite getting it together to answer last week's questions, one of the reasons being the cold I seem to have passed on to Blimpy (it's a computer virus)(that wasn't the joke, folks).

1. Well, given that my only gaming obsession currently is my son's Wii Fifa in which I'm the manager of the all-conquering Tottenham Hotspur (at present, holders of the League title, League Cup, FA Cup, Champions League, Community Shield and European Super Cup), I'd have to say my favourite character is Luka Modric.

2. I do tend to crave garlic when I'm full of cold. Also, the so-called 'Jewish penicillin' - chicken soup - really does work, though not usually having a whole chicken lying around to boil for a few hours tends to send me to the Lemsip instead.

3. Given the "that got you in deep troube with your other half" clause, I'm tempted to say a prostitute, but that would a comprehensive untruth. To be honest, that sort of wanton spending hasn't really featured in or out of relationships, unless you count the various indulgences down the years that I prefer to refer to as 'culture'. I did buy a Gabicci shirt whilst in a filmic haze after watching the Bobby Sands film, 'Hunger', last year. Not really extravagant and it incurred no grief, but having spent the previous couple of hours watching shit-caked naked men, it felt like a weirdly consumerist impulse with which to react.

4. Well, on Fridays, I tend to find that having stayed up too late for the MFF on the mothership helps me drop off at any time of the day.

5. Well, they say you only answer the EOTWQ questions twice in your career - once on the way up, and once on the way down. It's been great to be back - thankyouverymuch, goodnight.

Japanther said...

Hope you're feeling better Blimpy and i'm loving the jokes!

1. I used to love the Dizzy games, Treasure Island Dizzy and Fantasy Island Dizzy on the Spectrum 128k were both great. I bought Mrs J a "famulator" last year which is a device that we can play her old Famicom (Famicom is the Japanese name for what we called the original NES) games on. My favourite is The Goonies.

2. Poorly time food in chez Japanther is Ochazuke. This is basically just rice with a special kind of tea poured over it. You can add a couple of vegetables if you feel up to it.

3. Mrs J would say all those slabs of wax that take up half the living room, but for me they are not only practical but essential!
I bought some Jam-style mod shoes over the internet direct from a shop in England and even had to pay this special import duty on top of what I paid for them, but when I put them on they were too big and it would have been way too much hassle to exchange them.

4. I try to start a dream. I start imagining dream-type weird stories in my head and hope that they naturally flow into a real dream. It actually works sometimes!

5. I'm going to delve into the bottom of the barrel that is my dad's joke vault for this one:

The young boy came running in the door out of breath but excited, to his notoriously thrifty father.
and said "Dad, dad, you'll be really proud of me, Today I ran home behind the bus and saved 50p"

"You idiot" said his father "you should have run home behind a taxi and saved a fiver"!

tincanman said...

those slabs of wax that take up half the living room
..With all we hear about the size of Japanese living quarters, I'm estimating you have 10 records!

Japanther said...

your not too far wrong there tinny! Our place is bigger than most, but it's still pretty small! I've got friends that live in flats that are literally 10 feet by 10 feet!

steenbeck said...

1. I like Samarost, too. And on the Cartoon Network website there's a game called "My Gym Partner is a Monkey" that I like a lot. It's from some show I haven't scene, but you have to take this little boy and his hyperactive monkey all over a strangely abandoned school, and it's oddly addictive. I won't buy a video game for the boys though. Malcolm wants a DS, and we've had tears over it, but I like to think when he's away from the house he's away from tv and computers and all (says the person who checks her iPhone every 2 seconds).

2. Honey, ginger, cayenne, lemon, hot water. Deeelicious

3. I don't buy much, especially since I've stopped working full time. But I like buying things for the boys, even stupid little plastic toys, which I said I'd never buy my children, before I had children. David's much better about resisting their pleas, because it does add up financially, and we don't want them to become materialistic brats. It's so nice to see them happy, though...

Oh, wait...wine. Heh heh. I just bought a case. It's the one thing we regularly buy that we don't actually need. And coffee, maybe.

4. I need help with this one. Terrible insomnia lately. I lie in bed worrying. I try japanther's trick of starting a dreamy story, but lately some part of my brain has said, "hey, it's working, you're starting to have a dream" and that snaps me right back to wakefulness. Some nights I feel like half of my mind is working and worrying all night long.

TFD - have you ever written your stories down?

5. Shoot, I just wasted my only joke over on RR.

2 balloons in the desert. One says, "Watch out for the cactus!" the other says "What cactusssssssssssssssssssss?"

DarceysDad said...

First of all, donds to the tired and ill bit. Me and Darcey have both had the lurgee this week; Darce is asleep on me as I type, wearing her 6th? 7th? pair of pyjamas since she went to bed on Sunday night. As well as the vom explosions we've caught in the sickbucket, the washing machine has been busy with two sets of her bedclothes, one set of ours, both halves of the settee cushions (different occasions!), my dressing gown, one set of my clothes, two of her mother's outfits, and more towels than I even knew we possessed! And to cap it all, when we unzipped the second sofa seat to wash the cover, it turned out the inner bag was split, and around 10kg of down feathers tried to explode all over the living room!

Oh joy!

So I haven't had any time yet to get to these qus, but here goes ...

DsD said...

1. I was never a big arcade gamer, more a fruit machine bandit. (I had a £30-40/week habit 20 years ago, v.close to scary addiction levels. Had my own full-size machine too.)
On the PC, it's Geert Verdake's (sp?) Quick Backgammon. I can play against the computer, with the added spice that Geert admits the computer cheats, giving itself some spectacularly odds-defying dice rolls. If it really takes the piss, I let it get within one go of winning, then start a new game.

DsD said...

2. Good tips? No, none, nada. Will be reading the responses to this with interest. So what do I do? Kids allowing, just go to bed (in true OTT blokey style) with a Brookmyre novel, my mp3 player and a bottle of water. Comfort food? Nope, I normally go off eating completely.

DsD said...

3. It was a one-year-old VW Scirocco. My then tender years and lack of no-claims discount meant the insurance was nearly a thousand pounds per year. My trade-in was the same age, and a perfectly good car. But most importantly, the first time Julie saw it was when I arrived home in it, the deed done in her absence. To add to the 'betrayal', our best mate Dave had gone with me to buy it. It took her years to forgive me for that. In my defence, I kept it for nearly a decade, so it might end up being disqualified from this question, but then I traded that in for a four-litre soft-top Jeep ...

DsD said...

4. Sleep? For wimps! Bedtime normally between 2&3a.m., alarm on a school day is 0625hrs.

nilpferd said...

For what its worth, here are a few getting-to-sleep tips from the Nilpferd matriach, who was psychotherapist at Student Health, Otago University for a number of years and has cured more sleepless students than any of you has had hot dinners.
1. Keep your sleeping place free of work, television, clutter, and try not to do anything there other than sleep. Or have sex, of course. Make sure your bedroom is conducive to helping you get to sleep- perhaps it's time to replace your mattress, or get a new pillow. Are you comfortable in bed, or do you toss and turn? Is your partner keeping you awake? Snoring can be cured.
2. At least one hour before going to bed, stop any mentally or physically strenuous activity, including any sort of work.
Dim lights to convey the message to your body that it is time to sleep. Ideally, get your partner to give you a brief massage. Neck and shoulders is enough, more is better.
3. Diet- be careful not to consume caffinated drinks or food (pralines) beyond the early afternoon. Finish your evening meal at least 1-2 hrs before going to bed. Reduce your evening alcohol intake, drink sleep inducing teas, water, or juice instead. Make sure you are drinking enough water- small amounts, often- during the day.
4. Ventilation- ensure your bedroom is well ventilated, open windows shortly before going to bed to allow fresh air in.
5. Disturbances- try to minimise noise and light disturbances in your bedroom, ie don't put the washing machine on late if you hear it in bed.
6. Stress. Hard to just ignore it, but try to set aside a time in the day when you deal with imminent problems or worries. During this period, give these things your full attention, work through all aspects of things which are bothering you. Afterwards, try to draw a line under it for the day- you've done all you can. You're better off with a good night's sleep, and tomorrow might bring a fresh perspective on things.
7. Routine. Even if you don't manage to drop off immediately on the first night, keep at it. Do the same things before you go to bed, make efforts to prevent the unexpected happening, ie ask friends and relatives not to call after a particular time. Set yourself limits on game playing or TV watching if you find yourself drifting past midnight.
8. Exercise. Try to get outside at least 1-2 hours a day, and walk. Fresh air during the day will reinforce your body clock with a corresponding recognition of when it is time to wind down.
9. Children. If you are wakened often in the night and your children are over three, it might be time to address their sleeping habits. Announce in advance what you're prepared to do- wake if they need to go to the toilet, but not get out of bed, for example- and stick to it. Use persuasion, but be prepared for one or two night tantrums. The key is to state your intentions beforehand, and stick to them.

Hope that is of some use to somebody. Most important sleep killer is stress- all the other things are side effects of stress.
You need to try and compartmentalise it, worrying through the night never helped anyone solve any problems. And we're all here to discuss things, if it helps.

Blimpy said...

@steen - that is my new favourite joke. mini mcF liked it so much, he made me tell it 4 times in a row

Makinavaja said...

Thanks for the tips, Nilpferd.

treefrogdemon said...

@steenbeck: no, but I'll send you one I did write down, if you like. Well, actually I'll send it anyway.

steenbeck said...

Oh boy, TFD. Just opened the story. I can't wait to read it.

Nilpferd - thanks from me, too, for the sleep tips. I've got to work something out because I've turned into a completely unproductive zombie. (ok, I was always a bit of an unproductive zombie)

Blimpy - it's a good one isn't it? I don't know why it's so appealing. I wish I'd thought of it for myself, but it's from the movie Tickets. Maybe you'd like it. 3 stories, 3 different directors, and the last one is Ken Loach, and it has the boy in it from his movie Sweet SIxteen. Which is also recommended if you haven't seen it. It takes place in Scotland, you know. And tickets takes place on a train in Italy but there is a trio of very loud and funny Scottish football fans aboard.

gordonimmel said...

1. Aah, I'm in danger of going on a bit about this one.
I've been a devoted computer games player for nearly twenty years now. I prefer 'strategy' games to 'Shoot'em ups' if you understand the difference. Easily my favourite game has been and continues to be Sid Meier's CIVILIZATION, which I've played in all it's various formats, upgrades and rewrites since it first came out in 1992.
Basically, you start with a single settler in the middle of an unknown world in 4000BC and by settling new cities and developing the land you make money, develop learning and culture -aswell as armies to defend it all - right the way through 'till some civilization builds a spaceship and blasts off for Alpha Centauri. Every game you have to decide whether to concentrate on learning or building or compromising between the two. Basically, after 17 years I'm still not bored of it.
Other computer games I have known and loved:-
'Sid Meier's Colonization' (Like Civilization except that you start with a single colonist on a hostile New World shore)
Railroad Tycoon - build railways, put trains on them, pick up and deliver goods and passengers, build a financial empire.
Machiavelli - get the right goods to the right place at the right time then use your money to knock off your rivals.
Europa Universalis - discover the world, trade, intermarry, colonise...
Hearts Of Iron - Refight WW2.
Crusader Kings - Manage a medieval dynasty to greatness or oblivion.
....
And many more too numerous to mention........

gordonimmel said...

2. I'm the antithesis of the awful 'Man Flu' stereotype. I tend to ignore colds as much as possible. I agree with ToffeeBoy's Dad's theory. If I really have to have some treatment then it would consist of a large whisky followed by another one (and possibly a third). It doesn't treat the cold atall but you won't give a toss about it after that!

3. Can't think of anything. Since frauimmel and I have a clearly defined divide between our joint money and our own money and what it can be spent on I wouldn't get into trouble for impractical purchases 'cos it would have been with my own money (wouldn't dare do it with the joint money).
I've been regularly re-purchasing my Man City season ticket for the last 15 years, which could have been seen as a waste of money at some times, especially when we were down in the third tier but I think it might be worth it in the next couple of seasons.......

4. I don't suffur insomnia although if I ever have trouble dropping off, reciting the course of the French Revolutionary Wars (1792-1802) usually works. 'Valmy....Jemappes...Dumouriez...Grand Old Duke of York....zzzzzzzzzzzzz'

5. Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I can't stop singing 'The Green Green Grass of Home'
Doctor: Sounds like you've got 'Tom Jones Syndrome'
Patient: Is that very common?
Doctor: It's not unusual!

TonNL said...

1. Current favourite: Bloons, highly addictive iPhone game (probably also available as a Flash-game), just a monkey popping balloons with darts...

2. The two times a year I've got a cold I order some nice Szechuan dish from my local Chinese takeaway with the secret codewords "Make it extra-spicey", works perfectly, Garethl has explained perfectly why......

3. As there is no other half (yet) to TonNL none of my purchases gets me in deep trouble with anyone other than myself, the most impractical thing I've got in my home is probably a very, very strong magnet from an old mainframe hard-disk drive, I didn't even buy it, got it for free, it is so strong that it interferes with every electronic thing that comes within 10 feet of it......

4. Lie dowm, sleep! (and if you can't lie down: Sit down, sleep!)
Learned to do that whilst in the Dutch Marines, especially on 'training courses' with the SAS....

5. Won't even try to translate Dutch jokes here....

@treefrogdemon: love that TvZ joke, had the pleasure of meeting TvZ once, and spending a couple of hours with him, amazing how full of jokes and funny stories that guy was....

gordonimmel said...

And TonNL casually slips in the facts that a) he's trained with the SAS and b) he's met and chatted with Townes van Zandt.
Very cool!

TracyK said...

1: I loved the Zelda Occarina of Time game on the old N64, spent lots of hours just running round in that one. Not quite as hooked on the version on the Wii yet, but give me time...And don't get me started on Tetris or Bejewelled again.

2: I'm off school with hot shiveryness, bed and Heinz soups are what I usually want. Or cheese on toast. Lots and lots of tea. Back to bed with my old diaries.

3: When we live din Japan we had a pair of beanbags, and I would snuggle up to Jon while watching dvds on our days off and just fall asleep. I thought I'd buy a nice big beanbag for our last house, because I missed the snuggling. Saw one locally on Ebay but when we went round to fetch it, it was talking up half the guy's garage. No joke. We managed to ram it into the car and Jon's frosty silence said it all. It was big enough for two people to lie on and took up the vast proportion of the living room floor. It was relegated to the never used dining room and then sold to a couple of students via Ebay: their faces when they saw it...

4: I had real problems sleeping last year, as I was waking up in the middle of the night with my stomach churning, going over and over problems at school. The pains got worse, waking me up earlier and earlier until work had to refer me to Wellwork, who diagnosed anxiety. The therapist couldn't do much other than say "Try yoga". What worked was forcing school to acknowledge they'd screwed me over with the new subject I'd had dumped on me without training and fixing the problem. Any other insomnia was always fixed by a good book: then I don't mind being awake and I'm not tossing and turning any more.

5: I can never remember jokes, though I couldn't help but laugh when one of my pupils said last week: "I hate reading, it's boring. Can I just listen to the music in my head instead?"

ejay said...

1. My favourite characters are between Shinobi and Sonic, both on MegaDrive. Recently Ms Ejaydee got me a Dreamcast, one of the 2 consoles I've ever owned, it was very fin for a while (Metropolitan Street Racer , now known as Project Gotham Racing on other platforms, Headhunter, and the amazing Virtua Tennis were lots of fun to play again)
2. I've got one too. The first step is to ignore it, then, have tea with lemon and honey. It'll probably over in a week.
3. Ideally I'd limit my spending to music and good food, I don't remember buying anything impractical. There are, however, plenty of impractical, uselss freebies laying around here.

4. I listen to a terribly boring podcast, usually something form the Economist, ideally a 20 minute discussion on Japan's fiscal system.

5. I'll try to translate from French one of the 2 jokes I can remember.

"Crunch the cockroach crawls across the kitchen, Dad sees him and CRUNCH the cockroach"

It also works with PAF le chien (cross street, car comes), Chop la giraffe (helicopter).

nilpferd said...

We got Mara a DS after some initial misgivings, she was really keen on one of those pet games where you look after a dog, etc. That really flopped after we couldn't even get the damn thing to remember its own name.
She then insisted on a Dr. Kagayamas Maths game, much to our surprise, and also spent a while using the sketch/draw function. It was good for the flight and long car trips in NZ, where she played a couple of Planet Rescue games (not too bad, quite ecologically educative) and Crazy Machines, which I also quite liked helping her with. At the moment she and her friend are conquering Super Mario Bros, they aren't overdoing it though and are just as likely to spend the day engrossed in some role-play as they are glued to their Nintendos. I figure it's good for the hand-eye coordination and it's nice for them having the multi player function where they can both take part in the same game. Mara is still entranced by Samorost though, and also the Orisinal website which has some charming flash games; Eyezmaze.com also has some very nice ones.

Proudfoot said...

1. Space Invaders. I just find the sound deeply nostalgic/soothing. Love the Pretenders track too. My 5 year old thinks it's wussy. I'm sick right? Time for some....
2. Spaghetti hoops.
3. Bought Mrs Proudfoot one of those things that you plug in somwhere, attach to the bath somehow, and it massages her by blowing bubbles up her behind. There are so many reasons this was a dumb purchase. £48.99 in Boots about 6 years ago.
4. No problems getting to sleep. When I need to get BACK to sleep here is what I do:
I imagine I look like a well-endowed David Essex. I go back in time (1974 would do it), successfully woo all the girls I reaaly liked, write most of the best Dylan/ Radiohead songs, learn to play guitar like Jimmy Page, score a hat-trick for England in the 20012 World Cup after steering Newcastle to the top of the Premiership. I then retire, paint like Picasso and hire Keith Floyd as my personal chef. A rain forest grows in my back garden and I finally get to see an Angola Pitta (it's a rare bird).
Then I wake up.
5. What's the difference between a duck?
-One of its legs is both the same.

nilpferd said...

Japanther, I meant to say Mara really liked your joke. We have a thing where, if we make the 15min. walk into town for her ballet lessons instead of taking the bus or tram, she gets to spend the saved 1€ fare on something.

Not really sure though if it was such a good idea telling her that joke, now I think about it..

sourpus said...

Nah probs Tin. I still owe you one anyway.

Now me.

1) Probably the little line thing that you made go up and down the screen when playing tennis. It was always my friend. Though obviously I dont get out much..
2)Vodka is good for nearly everything I find, although the Hungarians prefer a thing called Palinka, which they will add to hot water and lemon or honey. I think i'll stick with the vodka myself. I dont really do comfort food, but I do like to drink pop when im sick for some reason.
3) My most typical impractical purchases are the twin loves of musical instruments and shoes. I invest a lot of my personality into both, so I can be very impractical when it comes to either. Shoes that cost a lot but dont actually fit for example
4) Im single
5) Two horses standing in a field and the second one replies "You're the only freak round here mate"

sourpus said...

Oh, oh...I actually have a Townes Van Zandt joke, which I heard him tell from the stage of the old Woolwich Tramshed in 1987. The only thing is, Townes was absolutely and totally trousered at the time and also, to quote Townes himself, "Its the dirtiest joke I ever heard"

I could tell a cleaned up version, although it would still come up pure filth - not exactly offensive, just dirty.

Only with your express permission I think...

sourpus said...

Oh and I also forgot to say that my joke (at number 5) is actually a joke from the future, which becomes funny after we realise that all creatures are actually naturally telepathic.