Wednesday, October 7, 2009

A Modest Medical Proposal

There's a doctor on trial at the moment for attempting to poison his pregnant girlfriend three times. The reporting has so far missed what to me is the biggest question crying out for an answer: How does someone who doesn't know enough about medicine to kill someone (in 3 attempts even) get licensed to be a doctor?
We must decide what to do with incompetent doctors - like the locum from Germany who came over here and killed a patient by giving him 100 units of something instead of 10. Unlicencing them is a too obvious choice; the state has spent tens of thousands of pounds educating and training them, and in this time of dire economic need we can't afford to be wasting resources.
Luckily I am here, for I also observe that while there are many who attend their local surgery to get healthy, there are those who fly to Switzerland to seek medical help dying. Why not just put our most incompetent doctors in a clinic and let people go there? Saves money, saves carbons flying to Switzerland... everyone's a winner.

7 comments:

Chris said...

Tin, there already is an organisation incompetent doctors work for. The state of Ohio employs them to cause dreadful suffering to those convicted of murder, instead of giving them an effective lethal injection.

Give Harold Shipman a job: he was very efficient, only being let down by his inadequate IT skills.....

tincanman said...

hint: It'll be the one with the 'Always Taking New Patients' sign.

ToffeeBoy said...

@ tinny - you're a genius. This is a brilliant example of thinking outside the coffin ...

Blimpy said...

Did i read that death goes up by 14% in hospitals in August, when the Junior Doctors first start plying their trade?

tincanman said...

with all due respect Blimp, how the %^$&% would we know what you've read?

treefrogdemon said...

Well, I read it so I don't see why Blimpy shouldn't.

TonNL said...

Couple of medical scandals in Holland at the moment:

- a surgeon, sacked and being sued for manslaughter after causing a couple of deaths after some substandard stomach operations in Germany finds a new job in Holland, the hospital trusted his cv, didn''t check with his former hospital, the result: seven people die...
and what makes matters worse, the hospital seems to get aay with it....

- a surgeon diagnoses patients with Alzheimers and other uncurable neural diseases, at least two of them commit suicide. When some other patients ask for a second opinion they all turn out to be in perfect health... The surgeon turns out to be addicted to all kinds of prescription medicines he prescribes himself, he is now suspended by the hospital and awaiting a criminal investigation, but, once again the hospital seems to get away with it....